The Last Man on Earth

part 6 of the Bad Horror Marathon



Data
Title: The Last Man on Earth
Year: 1964
Length: 86 minutes
Directors: Ubaldo Ragona & Sidney Salkow
Writers: William F. Leicester, Richard Matheson, Furio M. Monetti & Ubaldo Ragona, based on a book by Matheson
Starring: Vincent Price
Music: Paul Sawtell & Bert Shefter

My reaction
Synopsis: one man is the only apparent survivor of a zombie-vampire plague
How I saw it: on video, yesterday (have on DVD)
Concept: Great.
Story: Good.
Characters: Indifferent.
Dialog: Good.
Pacing: Bad.
Cinematography: Indifferent.
Special effects/design: Indifferent.
Acting: Bad.
Music: Indifferent.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good). It starts off very interesting; same as with the Will Smith version (I Am Legend), I'd give the first act an 8 or 9 out of 10, but the rest of the movie's not so great. The story comes to a grinding halt in the middle with a 25-minute flashback. The ending is by far the best of the three adaptations (not that that's saying much - Will Smith's ending is horrendous, and Charlton Heston's whole movie is crap); it's a European production, and they're willing to go a lot darker than Hollywood. The casting is a little weird to say the least - Vincent Price as an action hero, wearing his standard suit/smoking jacket wardrobe.
Objective Rating: 2.3/4 (Okay).

Dementia 13

part 5 of the Bad Horror Marathon



Data
Title: Dementia 13
Year: 1963
Length: 75 minutes
Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Writer: Francis Ford Coppola, with Jack Hill
Starring: William Campbell, Luana Anders, Bart Patton, Mary Mitchel, Patrick Magee, Eithne Dunne
Music: Ronald Stein



My reaction
Synopsis: a family is obsessed with their dead little girl, and has some murders
How I saw it: on video, yesterday (have on DVD)
Concept: Bad.
Story: Bad. Pretty sure they were just making stuff up as they went.
Characters: Indifferent. It's a nice change of pace from most of this marathon, in that it has characters at all.
Dialog: Indifferent.
Pacing: Bad.
Cinematography: Bad. Some things look nice. Most of the important events are obscured in darkness, so you can't tell what's happening.
Special effects/design: Indifferent.
Acting: Indifferent.
Music: Indifferent.
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad). There's enough going on that I wasn't bored to death, which I guess is something. Incidentally, a quick glance through the IMDb informs me that before this movie, Coppola made softcore porn.
Objective Rating: 1.5/4 (Eh).

The Ghost

part 4 of the Bad Horror Marathon



Data
Title: Lo spettro
Year: 1963
Length: 97 minutes
Director: Riccardo Freda
Writers: Oreste Biancoli & Riccardo Freda
Starring: Barbara Steele, Peter Baldwin, Elio Jotta, Harriet Medin
Music: Franco Mannino

My reaction
Synopsis: a couple kills the woman's husband, then gets slightly haunted
How I saw it: on video (have on DVD), yesterday
Concept: Terrible. Melodrama!
Story: Bad.
Characters: Indifferent.
Dialog: Bad. Could have been a lot worse, considering it was a dubbed version we saw.
Pacing: Terrible.
Cinematography: Terrible. Spotlights!
Special effects/design: Bad.
Acting: Terrible. Might have been good with the original language track, but the dubbed voices sound like computers.
Music: Bad.
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible). It's a lot like an episode of Ray Bradbury Theater, except where those shows tend to have ten minutes of material stretched to a half hour, here it's stretched to 97 minutes.
Objective Rating: 0.6/4 (Very bad).

This one's got us seriously re-thinking this plan of watching all these bad horror movies... but I think we're going to keep at it.

Carnival of Souls

part 3 of the Bad Horror Marathon



Data
Title: Carnival of Souls
Year: 1962
Length: 78 minutes
Director: Herk Harvey
Writer: John Clifford
Starring: Candace Hilligoss
Music: Gene Moore

My reaction
Synopsis: a woman is stared at by a creepy man
How I saw it: on video, yesterday (have on DVD)
Concept: Terrible.
Story: Terrible. My synopsis above is not meant to be snarky; that is actually what this movie is about.
Characters: Terrible.
Dialog: Bad.
Pacing: Bad.
Cinematography: Good.
Special effects/design: Indifferent.
Acting: Bad.
Music: Terrible.
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible). How and why could anyone possibly have thought that making this movie was a good idea?
Objective Rating: 0.8/4 (Very bad).

Doctor Who #135: Planet of Fire

Data
Title: Doctor Who: “Planet of Fire”
Year: 1984
Network: BBC
Episodes: 4, at 25 minutes each; the fifth story (of seven) from season twenty-one
Creators: Sydney Newman, C.E. Webber, Donald Wilson
Director: Fiona Cumming
Writer: Peter Grimwade
Starring: Peter Davison, Nicola Bryant, Mark Strickson
Music: Ron Grainer (theme); Peter Howell

My reaction
Synopsis: a religious civilization has technology they don't understand
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), yesterday
Concept: Good.
Story: Bad.
Characters: Terrible.
Dialog: Bad.
Pacing: Bad.
Cinematography: Bad.
Special effects/design: Bad.
Acting: Bad.
Music: Indifferent.
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible). In the running for Worst Doctor Who Episode ever.
Objective Rating: 1.1/4 (Bad).

Seven Samurai

The Top 63 Marathon, part 50



Data
Title: Shichinin no samurai
Year: 1954 (Japan), 1956 (US)
Length: 207 minutes
Director: Akira Kurosawa
Writers: Akira Kurosawa, Shinobu Hashimoto & Hideo Oguni
Starring: Toshirô Mifune, Takashi Shimura, Isao Kimura
Music: Fumio Hayasaka
Distinctions: Oscar nominations for Best Art Direction/Set Decoration (black-and-white) and Best Costume Design (black-and-white) (1957); currently #13 on the IMDb's Top 250

My reaction
Synopsis: samurai defend a village from bandits
How I saw it: on video a couple times, most recently yesterday (rented from Netflix)
Concept: Great.
Story: Great.
Characters: Great.
Dialog: Good.
Pacing: Good.
Cinematography: Good.
Special effects/design: Good. I would not mind if there were more pants involved.
Acting: Great.
Music: Great.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good). A three-and-a-half hour historical epic, and it doesn't bore me. This should not be possible.
Objective Rating: 3.5/4 (Very good).

House on Haunted Hill

part 2 of my Bad Horror Marathon



Data
Title: House on Haunted Hill
Year: 1959
Length: 75 minutes
Director: William Castle
Writer: Robb White
Starring: Vincent Price, Carol Ohmart, Richard Long, Alan Marshal, Carolyn Craig, Elisha Cook Jr., Julie Mitchum
Music: Von Dexter

My reaction
Synopsis: five strangers are invited to stay the night in a haunted house
How I saw it: on video, yesterday (have on DVD)
Concept: Indifferent.
Story: Good.
Characters: Good.
Dialog: Good.
Pacing: Good.
Cinematography: Indifferent.
Special effects/design: Indifferent.
Acting: Good.
Music: Good.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good). What the heck - what's a good movie doing in my "bad horror movies" marathon? Maybe this endeavor won't be quite as painful as I thought.
Objective Rating: 2.7/4 (Good).

I Bury the Living

part 1 of my Bad Horror Marathon



Data
Title: I Bury the Living
Year: 1958
Length: 76 minutes
Director: Albert Band
Writer: Louis Garfinkle
Starring: Richard Boone, Theodore Bikel
Music: Gerald Fried

My reaction
Synopsis: a man can kill by putting pins in a graveyard map
How I saw it: on video, yesterday (have on DVD)
Concept: Terrible.
Story: Terrible. Mostly it's just bad, but the failed attempts at twist endings push it over into terrible.
Characters: Terrible.
Dialog: Bad. Sometimes funny, but never intentionally.
Pacing: Bad.
Cinematography: Good.
Special effects/design: Good.
Acting: Indifferent. Boone is good. Bikel's accent is unintelligible.
Music: Good. There's some really great music, but it often works badly as a soundtrack.
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh). Amateurish crap.  It's watchable, but there's no reason you'd want to.
Objective Rating: 1.5/4 (Eh).

VSM: Bad Horror

We've still got 14 movies to go on the first Very Slow Marathon, but who says we can't do two at the same time?

A few months ago, because I am weak when faced with a bargain, I picked up one of those budget collections of Movies Nobody Wants - 15 horror films for $5 - then ignored it. Now that it's late October, we figured we should watch the thing. So, it shall be:

Very Slow Marathon #2 - Bad Horror Movies
[note: I'll update this list with links as we go, and you can find it above in the Very Slow Marathons tab]

watched:
- I Bury the Living, 1958 (4/10, 1.5/4)
- House on Haunted Hill, 1959 (7/10, 2.7/4)
- Carnival of Souls, 1962 (2/10, 0.8/4)
- The Ghost, 1963 (2/10, 0.6/4)
- Dementia 13, 1963 (3/10, 1.5/4)
- The Last Man on Earth, 1964 (7/10, 2.3/4)
- Nightmare Castle, 1965 (3/10, 1.3/4)
- Bloody Pit of Horror, 1965 (4/10, 1.0/4)
- The Undertaker and His Pals, 1966 (3/10, 0.9/4)
- Night of the Living Dead, 1968 (8/10, 2.9/4)
- Fangs of the Living Dead, 1969 (2/10, 0.8/4)
- The Pyx, 1973 (1/10, 0.3/4)
- Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride, 1974 (6/10, 2.3/4)
- Dominique Is Dead, 1978 (2/10, 0.7/4)
- Blood Tide, 1982 (3/10, 1.3/4)

Dracula

Data
Title: Dracula
Year: 1931
Length: 75 minutes
Director: Tod Browning
Writer: Garrett Fort, based on the play, by Hamilton Deane & John L. Balderston, based on the book by Bram Stoker
Starring: Bela Lugosi, Helen Chandler, David Manners, Dwight Frye, Edward Van Sloan
Music: non-original music

My reaction
Synopsis: a vampire moves to London
How I saw it: in the theater, yesterday
Concept: Great.
Story: Good. Some of the changes they make from the book don't really make sense. For instance [spoiler!:], Dracula knows that his enemies know how to kill him, but does almost nothing to prevent it.
Characters: Good. Renfield and the Count are great, but the good guys are pretty lame (although not nearly as lame as they become when played by Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder).
Dialog: Good.
Pacing: Good. It's never boring, but there's a lot of strange editing.
Cinematography: Good.
Special effects/design: Good. Great except for the bats-on-strings.
Acting: Indifferent.
Music: Terrible. There's no incidental music, at all. If it had a score, I might have loved it. Instead, all of the movie's potentially suspenseful bits are ruined by awkward silence and play as funny.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good). It's a reluctant 7. I expected it to be of similar quality to Frankanstein, and was very disappointed. My wife, on the other hand, who expected it to be crap, was pleased. In either case, it's a reasonably entertaining 75 minutes.
Objective Rating: 2.7/4 (Good).

Goodfellas

The Top 63 Marathon, part 49 (aka The Top 15)



Data
Title: Goodfellas
Year: 1990
Length: 146 minutes
Director: Martin Scorsese
Writers: Nicholas Pileggi & Martin Scorsese, based on a book by Pileggi
Starring: Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco
Music: non-original music
Distinctions: Oscar for Best Supporting Actor (Pesci); Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Supporting Actress (Bracco) and Best Editing; currently #15 on the IMDb's Top 250

My reaction
Synopsis: the career of a minor mafioso
How I saw it: on video several times, most recently yesterday (rented from Netflix)
Concept: Bad. Um... I don't give a f***.
Story: Indifferent.
Characters: Great.
Dialog: Good.
Pacing: Bad.
Cinematography: Indifferent.
Special effects/design: Great.
Acting: Great.
Music: Good.
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh). It's got a handful of iconic scenes that are at least worth seeing it once for. But for the most part, it's boring. When we first started our Top 250 project, I almost decided not to do it because it would mean having to watch Goodfellas again. Well, Goodfellas and Scarface. I just don't get why anyone would want to watch it a second time. Okay, I guess that's not true; I can appreciate it... but the 15th best movie ever?  The IMDb voters are all insane.
Objective Rating: 2.6/4 (Good).

Punch-Drunk Love

Data
Title: Punch-Drunk Love
Year: 2002
Length: 95 minutes
Director: Paul Thomas Anderson
Writer: Paul Thomas Anderson
Starring: Adam Sandler, Emily Watson
Music: Jon Brion (and non-original music)



My reaction
Synopsis: an emotionally unstable man meets a nice girl and is hassled by thieves
How I saw it: probably in the theater, 2002; on video many times, most recently yesterday (have on DVD)
Concept: Good.
Story: Good.
Characters: Good.
Dialog: Great.
Pacing: Great.
Cinematography: Great.
Special effects/design: Great.
Acting: Good.
Music: Great.
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites). A weird little movie. It's sweet and fun to watch, and it makes me happy.
Objective Rating: 3.6/4 3.7/4 (Great).

Fight Club

The Top 63 Marathon, part 48



Data
Title: Fight Club
Year: 1999
Length: 139 minutes
Director: David Fincher
Writer: Jim Uhls, based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk
Starring: Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter
Music: The Dust Brothers (John King & Michael Simpson) (and non-original music)
Distinctions: Oscar nomination for Best Sound Effects Editing; currently #18 on the IMDb's Top 250

My reaction
Synopsis: an insomniac gets involved in antisocial mayhem
How I saw it: on video many times, most recently yesterday (have on DVD)
Concept: Bad.
Story: Great.
Characters: Great.  They're pathetic dirtbags, but they're fun to watch.
Dialog: Indifferent. There's some cleverness here and there, but mostly it just beats you over the head with juvenile pseudo-philosophy.
Pacing: Indifferent.
Cinematography: Indifferent.
Special effects/design: Great.
Acting: Good.
Music: Good.
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great). I loved this movie when I was younger. Now, I kind of despise where it's coming from. But I still appreciate it and enjoy most of it anyway.
Objective Rating: 2.9/4 (Good).

Independence Day

Data
Title: Independence Day
Year: 1996
Length: 153 minutes (extended version)
Director: Roland Emmerich
Writers: Dean Devlin & Roland Emmerich
Starring: Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum
Music: David Arnold (and non-original music)
Distinctions: Oscar for Best Visual Effects; Oscar nomination for Best Sound



My reaction
Synopsis: flying saucers invade earth
How I saw it: in the theater, 1996; on video a few times, most recently over the past couple days (have on DVD)
Concept: Great.
Story: Bad.
Characters: Terrible.
Dialog: Bad.
Pacing: Bad. Jesus Christ why is this movie so long?
Cinematography: Good.
Special effects/design: Great.
Acting: Indifferent.
Music: Indifferent.
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay). It's a chore to sit through the whole thing, but if you just watch an hour at time it can be fun. Complete crap, but fun.
Objective Rating: 2.0/4 (Indifferent).

Jack Goes Boating

Data
Title: Jack Goes Boating
Year: 2010
Length: 91 minutes
Director: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Writer: Robert Glaudini, based on his play
Starring: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Ryan, John Ortiz, Daphne Rubin-Vega
Music: non-original music

My reaction
Synopsis: two nice, awkward people get hooked up
How I saw it: in the theater, yesterday
Concept: Great. Hooray for nice people.
Story: Indifferent.
Characters: Great.
Dialog: Great.
Pacing: Indifferent.
Cinematography: Indifferent.
Special effects/design: Great.
Acting: Great.
Music: Great.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good). A sweet movie, with lots of strong emotions. It reminds me a lot of Amelie, but without the quirkiness or prettiness.
Objective Rating: 3.3/4 (Very good).

City of God

The Top 63 Marathon, part 47



Data
Title: Cidade de Deus
Year: 2002 (Brazil), 2003 (US)
Length: 130 minutes
Directors: Fernando Meirelles & Kátia Lund
Writer: Bráulio Mantovani, based on the novel by Paulo Lins
Starring: Alexandre Rodrigues, Leandro Firmino
Music: Ed Cortês, Antonio Pinto (and non-original music)
Distinctions: Oscar nominations for Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography and Best Editing (2004); currently #19 on the IMDb's Top 250

My reaction
Synopsis: gang violence escalates in the neighborhood of a kid who wants to be a photographer
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), yesterday
Concept: Indifferent.
Story: Good.
Characters: Indifferent.
Dialog: Indifferent. I have no idea; half of it isn't translated in the subtitles.
Pacing: Good.
Cinematography: Indifferent. It very deliberately is what it is, and has the intended effect, but I don't like it. It's a lot like Slumdog Millionaire, except it's on film, isn't nearly as awful, and isn't ripping off City of God.
Special effects/design: Great.
Acting: Great.
Music: Good.
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay). It's a fairly interesting story, I guess. I never really got behind any of the characters. It seems like they had to make a choice between focusing on an unlikable character (a cold-blooded murderer), or on a relatively boring character (the protagonist/narrator). They went with the unlikable one, which is certainly the better of the two, but they shouldn't have had to make that choice in the first place. I mean, if your protagonist is boring, make a different movie.
Objective Rating: 2.7/4 (Good).

A Bit of Fry & Laurie: Season Two

Data
Title: A Bit of Fry & Laurie: Season Two
Year: 1990
Network: BBC
Episodes: 6, at about a half hour each
Creators: Stephen Fry & Hugh Laurie
Director: Roger Ordish
Writers: Stephen Fry & Hugh Laurie
Starring: Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie
Music: Philip Pope (theme)

My reaction
Synopsis: sketch comedy
How I saw it: online (streaming from Netflix), over the past few days
Concept: Good.
Story: n/a
Characters: Indifferent.
Dialog: Great.
Pacing: Good.
Cinematography: Indifferent.
Special effects/design: Good.
Acting: Good.
Music: Good.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good). Not half as funny as season one (although I should point out that that still allows for it to be much funnier than most sketch comedy).   I'm not sure if they've run out of steam, or if I just have higher expectations.  Maybe a little of both.
Objective Rating: 2.9/4 (Good).

The Fellowship of the Ring

The Top 63 Marathon, part 46



Data
Title: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Year: 2001
Length: 178 minutes (theatrical cut)
Director: Peter Jackson
Writers: Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens & Peter Jackson, based on the novel by J.R.R. Tolkien
Starring: Sean Astin, Sean Bean, Cate Blanchett, Orlando Bloom, Billy Boyd, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Ian McKellen, Dominic Monaghan, Viggo Mortensen, John Rhys-Davies, Liv Tyler, Hugo Weaving, Elijah Wood
Music: Howard Shore
Distinctions: Oscars for Best Cinematography, Best Score, Best Makeup and Best Visual Effects; Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Supporting Actor (McKellen), Best Song ("May It Be"), Best Art Direction/Set Decoration, Best Costume Design, Best Editing and Best Sound; currently #20 on the IMDb's Top 250



My reaction
Synopsis: the forces of good decide what to do with an evil magic ring
How I saw it: in the theater, 2001; on video many times (have extended cut on DVD), most recently yesterday (theatrical cut, rented from Netflix)
Concept: Indifferent.
Story: Indifferent.
Characters: Great.
Dialog: Bad.
Pacing: Indifferent.
Cinematography: Good.
Special effects/design: Great.
Acting: Indifferent.
Music: Good.
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites). Everything I have to say about it is identical to what I had to say about The Two Towers, so I won't repeat myself. (Aren't you glad you spent you time reading that sentence?  And this one?)
Objective Rating: 2.7/4 2.8/4 (Good).

A Bit of Fry & Laurie: Season One

Data
Title: A Bit of Fry & Laurie: Season One
Year: 1987, 1989
Network: BBC
Episodes: 7, at about a half hour each
Creators: Stephen Fry & Hugh Laurie
Director: Roger Ordish
Writers: Stephen Fry & Hugh Laurie
Starring: Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie
Music: Harry Stoneham (theme)

My reaction
Synopsis: sketch comedy
How I saw it: online (streaming form Netflix), over the past couple days
Concept: Good.
Story: n/a
Characters: Indifferent.
Dialog: Great.
Pacing: Great.
Cinematography: Indifferent.
Special effects/design: Good.
Acting: Good.
Music: Good.
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites). Holy crap that's funny. A manic flow of silliness.
Objective Rating: 3.1/4 3.2/4 (Very good).

Raiders of the Lost Ark

The Top 63 Marathon, part 45



Data
Title: Raiders of the Lost Ark
Year: 1981
Length: 115 minutes
Director: Steven Spielberg
Writer: Lawrence Kasdan; story by George Lucas & Philip Kaufman
Starring: Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman, Ronald Lacey, John Rhys-Davies
Music: John Williams
Distinctions: Oscars for Best Art Direction/Set Decoration, Best Editing, Best Visual Effects and Best Sound; special Academy Award for sound effects editing; Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Cinematography and Best Score; currently #22 on the IMDb's Top 250

My reaction
Synopsis: a treasure-hunter races the Nazis
How I saw it: on video many times, most recently yesterday (have on DVD)
Concept: Great.
Story: Great.
Characters: Great.
Dialog: Bad. But in a good way.
Pacing: Indifferent. I was surprised to note that it's less than two hours long. It always seems to go on for a long time. But at the same time, most scenes move too quickly.
Cinematography: Indifferent.
Special effects/design: Great. Okay, the special effects get pretty cheesy at the end, but Dr. Jones' three-piece suit is kind of beautiful.
Acting: Good.
Music: Good.
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great). Pretty damn fun.
Objective Rating: 3.1/4 (Very good).