Heat

Title: Heat
Year: 1995
Director: Michael Mann
Writer: Michael Mann
Starring: Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore, Diane Venora, Amy Brenneman, Ashley Judd
Music: Elliot Goldenthal
Distinctions: currently #134 on IMDb's Top 250
Length: 171 minutes
Synopsis: a team of expert thieves tries not to get caught
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), today
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh).
Objective Rating: 2/10 (gets points for concept and special effects/design) c. 2.1/4 (Okay).

Slow and very, very long. The score is terrible.  Pacino's performance is terrible.  The characters are uninteresting, and most are undeveloped.  There are a few okay scenes, but nothing spectacular - certainly nothing to justify sitting through this movie.

Battle for the Planet of the Apes

Title: Battle for the Planet of the Apes
Year: 1973
Director: J. Lee Thompson
Writers: John William Corrington & Joyce Hooper Corrington; story by Paul Dehn; characters by Pierre Boulle
Starring: Roddy McDowall, Claude Akins, Natalie Trundy, Severn Darden
Music: Leonard Rosenman
Length: 93 minutes
Synopsis: There's been a world-obliterating war since the last movie, and now the ape survivors and human survivors must.... Battle! For the planet! Of the apes!
How I saw it: online (streaming from Netflix), November 2008
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay).
Objective Rating: 6/10 (points off for story, cinematography, special effects/design and music) c. 2.0/4 (Indifferent).

Meh. You've got to give it some props for being ripped of as The Road Warrior, but otherwise there's not much here. This is the fifth Apes movie, and each installment of the franchise is progressively worse. By this point, they just don't seem to care anymore. Most of the apes' mouths don't even move when they talk.  I give it as high a score as I do because I'm biased toward bad, campy sci-fi.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Title: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
Year: 1984 / 1985
Network: ITV
Creator: John Hawkesworth (developer)
Directors: Alan Grint (season 1, 2 episodes; season 2, 2 episodes), Paul Annett (s1, 2; s2, 1), John Bruce (s1, 2; s2, 1), David Carson (s1, 1; s2, 1), Ken Grieve (s2, 1)
Writers: Jeremy Paul (season 1, 2 episodes), Derek Marlowe (s2, 2), John Hawkesworth (s2, 2), Alexander Baron (s1, 1), Anthony Skene (s1, 1), Alan Plater (s1, 1), Alfred Shaughnessy (s1, 1), Paul Finney (s1, 1), Bill Craig (s2, 1), Richard Harris (s2, 1); based on stories by Arthur Conan Doyle
Starring: Jeremy Brett, David Burke
Music: Patrick Gowers
Episodes: 13, at c. 52 minutes (2 seasons of 7 and 6 episodes)
Synopsis: a private investigator solves mysteries
How I saw it: on video (some rented on VHS from the library, some from Netflix), over the past few weeks
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great).
Objective Rating: 7/10 (points off for story, dialog and cinematography) c. 3.3/4 (Very good).

I don't like period dramas, and I'm not particularly a fan of mysteries, but these shows are delightful. The adaptations aren't always great, and there are a few bad episodes (especially the last one - what was supposed to be an epic finale was just dull). Characters have a tendency to tell their stories in a manner that seems like they're reading passages of the book. But most of the stories are engaging, or if they're not the characters make up for it. Burke's Watson is likable and relatable, and Brett's Holmes is a lot of fun - sort of Hannibal Lecter (minus the killing/eating people) crossed with Doctor Who. I'm no longer looking forward to the upcoming Sherlock Holmes movie, as I'm convinced you couldn't do better with the character than Brett did.

A Boy Named Charlie Brown

Title: A Boy Named Charlie Brown
Year: 1969
Director: Bill Melendez
Writer: Charles M. Schulz
Starring: Peter Robbins, Pamelyn Ferdin, Glenn Gilger, Andy Pforsich, Sally Dryer
Music: Vince Guaraldi
Distinctions: Oscar nomination for Best Song Score (1971)
Length: 86 minutes
Synopsis: Charlie Brown goes to the national spelling bee
How I saw it: on TV, November 2008
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay).
Objective Rating: 6/10 (points off for concept, story, cinematography and acting) c. 2.2/4 (Okay).

Bizarre movie, with great music. The animation is interesting at times. The acting is appalling.

Revolt

Title: Ran
Year: 1985
Director: Akira Kurosawa
Writers: Akira Kurosawa, Hideo Oguni & Masato Ide, based on a play by William Shakespeare
Starring: Tatsuya Nakadai, Akira Terao, Jinpachi Nezu, Daisuke Ryu, Mieko Harada
Music: Tôru Takemitsu
Distinctions: Oscar for Best Costume Design; Oscar nominations for Best Director, Best Cinematography and Best Art Direction/Set Decoration; currently #136 on IMDb's Top 250
Length: 160 minutes
Synopsis: King Lear set in feudal Japan
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), yesterday
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay).
Objective Rating: 8/10 (points off for pacing and acting) c. 3.1/4 (Very good).

The story is great, of course, although it moves far too slowly. I give it a reluctant point for cinematography because it's a very pretty movie; the cinematography isn't so great however where it comes to telling the story (beyond setting the tone). For most of the movie he insists on staying on a wide shot, which makes it (1) feel more like watching a play than a movie (arguably a good thing) and (2) difficult in places to tell which character is saying which line.

King Lear

Title: King Lear
Year: 1983
Network: Channel 4
Director: Michael Elliott
Writer: William Shakespeare
Starring: Laurence Olivier, Colin Blakely, Anna Calder-Marshall, Leo McKern, Dorothy Tutin, John Hurt, Diana Rigg
Music: Gordon Crosse
Length: 158 minutes
Synopsis: an elderly king gives up his kingdom and goes mad
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), November 2008
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good).
Objective Rating: 7/10 (points off for cinematography, special effects/design and music) c. 3.0/4 (Good).

Wow, almost three hours of Shakespeare and I never got bored. The acting is exceptional. The production quality is very, very British Television.

Quantum of Solace

Title: Quantum of Solace
Year: 2008
Director: Marc Forster
Writer: Paul Haggis, Neal Purvis & Robert Wade
Starring: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Judi Dench, Giancarlo Giannini, Gemma Arterton
Music: David Arnold
Length: 106 minutes
Synopsis: James Bond, kicking ass
How I saw it: in the theater, November 2008
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good).
Objective Rating: 8/10 (points off for story and cinematography) c. 2.8/4 (Good).

Fun, senseless action. The plot doesn't really work if you think about it for a second. The only thing that's resolved at the end is that the bad guy gets killed - which could have been accomplished just as easily at the start. But at least (unlike Casino Royale) it has the basic structure of a movie with a story. Now they just need to make one that has both (1) a beginning, middle and end, and (2) a plot that makes sense. Tricky stuff.

Rocky II

Title: Rocky II
Year: 1979
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Writer: Sylvester Stallone
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Burgess Meredith
Music: Bill Conti
Length: 119 minutes
Synopsis: after his successful fight, Rocky can't get his career to work
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), December 2008
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great).
Objective Rating: 7/10 (points off for concept, cinematography and music) c. 3.1/4 (Very good).

It is crazy, having grown up in the early 90's and late 80's (and thinking Sylvester Stallone was just a big guy who can't talk, that sh** like Rambo III or Demolition Man were representative of his contribution to cinema), to be discovering now that all that time he was secretly an extremely competent filmmaker.

Innerspace

Title: Innerspace
Year: 1987
Director: Joe Dante
Writers: Jeffrey Boam & Chip Proser
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, Meg Ryan, Kevin McCarthy
Music: Jerry Goldsmith
Distinctions: Oscar for Best Visual Effects
Length: 120 minutes
Synopsis: Fantastic Voyage rip-off
How I saw it: on video (rented on VHS from the library); many times as a kid
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad).
Objective Rating: 2/10 (gets points for concept and special effects/design) c. 1.7/4 (Eh).

I seem to remember thinking this was a fun movie when I was ten. It's not.

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman

Title: Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman
Year: 2003 (direct-to-video)
Director: Curt Geda & Tim Maltby
Writer: Michael Reaves; story by Alan Burnett; characters by Bob Kane
Starring: Kevin Conroy, Kimberly Brooks, Hector Elizondo, Elisa Gabrielli, Kevin Michael Richardson, Kelly Ripa, Kyra Sedgwick
Music: Lolita Ritmanis
Length: 75 minutes
Synopsis: a female vigilante impersonates Batman
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), January 2009
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay).
Objective Rating: 1/10 (gets 1 point for subjective rating) c. 1.4/4 (Bad).

Ugh. I enjoyed it well enough, but it is completely unremarkable and unmemorable. Typical Saturday Morning cartoon fare, which is pretty bad for the DCAU.

The Muppet Show: Season One

Title: The Muppet Show: Season One
Year: 1976-1977
Network: ITV
Creator: Jim Henson
Directors: Peter Harris
Writers: Jack Burns (24 episodes), Jim Henson (24), Jerry Juhl (24), Marc London (22)
Starring: Juliet Prowse, Connie Stevens, Joel Grey, Ruth Buzzi, Rita Moreno, Jim Nabors, Florence Henderson, Paul Williams, Charles Aznavour, Harvey Korman, Lena Horne, Peter Ustinov, Bruce Forsyth, Sandy Duncan, Candice Bergen, Avery Schreiber, Ben Vereen, Phyllis Diller, Vincent Price, Valerie Harper, Twiggy, Ethel Merman, Kaye Ballard, Mummenschanz (1 episode each)
With: The Muppets (Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, Richard Hunt, Dave Goelz, Eren Ozker, John Lovelady, Fran Brill, Peter Friedman, Cynthia Adler)
Music: Sam Pottle (theme)/Jack Parnell
Episodes: 24 at c. 25 minutes
Synopsis: The Muppets put on a weekly variety show
How I saw it: on video several times (have on DVD), most recently over the past few weeks
Subjective Rating: 10/10 (Favorite of my favorites).
Objective Rating: 8/10 (points off for story and cinematography) c. 3.3/4 3.4/4 (Very good).

Some of the characters aren't developed yet for most of this season, and things in general are a bit more rough than they should be, and the guest stars have a tendency to be not so spectacular. On the other hand, this season probably has the best weird musical sketches in it (such as "Mahna Mahna") since they had built up a repertoire in the preceding decade or so.

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Kung Fu Panda

Title: Kung Fu Panda
Year: 2008
Directors: Mark Osborne & John Stevenson
Writers: Jonathan Aibel & Glenn Berger; story by Ethan Reiff & Cyrus Voris
Starring: Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu, David Cross, Randall Duk Kim
Music: John Powell, Hans Zimmer
Distinctions: Oscar nomination for Best Animated Feature
Length: 92 minutes
Synopsis: a slobbish panda is inexplicably chosen as a kung fu warrior/savior
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), January 2009
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good)
Objective Rating: 9/10 (1 point off for story) c. 3.1/4 (Very good)

Cute movie. You're not really missing much if you don't see it, but it's fun.

Get Smart

Title: Get Smart
Year: 2008
Director: Peter Segal
Writers: Tom J. Astle & Matt Ember, based on characters by Mel Brooks & Buck Henry
Starring: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Alan Arkin
Music: Trevor Rabin
Length: 110 minutes
Synopsis: a remake of a spoof of an adaptation of an espionage action/thriller
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), January 2009
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay).
Objective Rating: 1/10 (gets 1 point for dialog) c. 1.8/4 (Eh).

Almost all of the jokes were in the trailers; the rest of the movie is filled up with action movie cliches (sometimes in parody, but mostly just poorly imitating - I'm not sure they're aware that there's a difference). Carell isn't particularly funny, Anne Hathaway isn't charismatic, and The "Dwayne" Rock had almost no role.

Arrested Development

Title: Arrested Development
Year: 2003-2004 / 2004-2005 / 2005-2006
Network: Fox
Creator: Mitchell Hurwitz
Directors: Joe Russo (season 1, 7 episodes; season 2, 3 episodes), Paul Feig (s1, 2; s2, 3; s3, 2), Anthony Russo (s1, 3; s2, 2), Lee Shallat Chemel (s1, 3; s2, 2), Jay Chandrasekhar (s1, 4), Greg Mottola (s1, 3), John Fortenberry (s1, 1; s3, 2), Peter Lauer (s2, 2; s3, 1), Robert Berlinger (s3, 3), Lev L. Spiro (s3, 2), Patty Jenkins (s2, 1), Jeff Melman (s2, 1), Jason Bateman (s2, 1), Andrew Fleming (s2, 1), Danny Leiner (s2, 1), Chuck Martin (s2, 1), John Amodeo (s3, 1), Arlene Sanford (s3, 1), Rebecca Asher (s3, 1)
Writers: Mitchell Hurwitz (season 1, 8 episodes; season 2, 6 episodes; season 3, 5 episodes), Jim Vallely (s1, 5; s2, 5; s3, 5), Richard Rosenstock (s1, 5; s2, 2), Barbara Feldman (s1, 2; s2, 5), Chuck Martin (s1, 3; s2, 4), John Levenstein (s1, 5; s2, 1), Brad Copeland (s1, 3; s2, 3), Abraham Higginbotham (s1, 2; s2, 3), Richard Day (s3, 4), Chuck Tatham (s3, 3), Courtney Lilly (s1, 1; s2, 1), Ron Weiner (s3, 2), Lisa Parsons (s2, 1), Tom Saunders (s3, 1), Jake Farrow (s3, 1), Sam Laybourne (s3, 1), Karey Dornetto (s3, 1), Dean Lorey (s3, 1)
Starring: Jason Bateman, Portia de Rossi, Will Arnett, Michael Cera, Alia Shawkat, Tony Hale, David Cross, Jeffrey Tambor, Jessica Walter, Ron Howard
Music: David Schwartz
Episodes: 53, at c. 22 minutes (3 seasons of 22, 18 and 13 episodes)
Synopsis: the head of a wealthy family is arrested
How I saw it: some episodes on TV; on video (rented from Netflix), September 2007 (season 1), November 2008 (2) and January 2009 (3)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great).
Objective Rating: 9/10 (1 point off for concept) c. 3.2/4 (Very good).

Hilarious. Normally I hate this sort of show, where unsympathetic characters act like jerks, but in this case it just works somehow.  Season three is significantly worse than the other two (although it's still funny); it's probably for the best that it was canceled while it was still good.

Tropic Thunder

Title: Tropic Thunder
Year: 2008
Director: Ben Stiller
Writers: Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux & Etan Cohen
Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson
Music: Theodore Shapiro
Distinctions: Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor (Downey)
Length: 107 minutes
Synopsis: actors filming a Vietnam movie get lost in the jungle
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), January 2009
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay)
Objective Rating: 9/10 (1 point off for pacing) c. 3.3/4 (Very good)

I don't understand why reactions to this movie were so extreme (both positive and negative). It's just a typical dumb Ben Stiller movie. Robert Downey Junior is very funny, and Tom Cruise in a bald cap is worth seeing a movie for, but mostly it's just filler.

The Ruby in the Smoke

Title: The Ruby in the Smoke
Year: 2006
Network: BBC
Director: Brian Percival
Writer: Adrian Hodges, based on the novel by Philip Pullman
Starring: Billie Piper, Matt Smith, Julie Walters, JJ Feild, Hayley Atwell
Music: Martin Phipps
Length: 95 minutes
Synopsis: someone is out to kill a recently orphaned woman
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), January 2009
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad).
Objective Rating: 3/10 (gets points for dialog, pacing and acting) c. 2.0/4 (Indifferent).

The mark of a great mystery story is when it's solved by the main character saying, "Oh, I remember what happened now." F*** you, Phillip Pullman. I didn't expect to like this movie, though. We just rented it because Matt Smith (eventually to be the 11th Doctor) is in it and I wanted to see how Doctor-y he is. Can't really say, though; the director of this crap movie managed to never quite let you see his actors' performances.

North

Title: North
Year: 1994
Director: Rob Reiner
Writers: Alan Zweibel & Andrew Scheinman, based on Zweibel's novel
Starring: Elijah Wood, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bruce Willis, Jon Lovitz
Music: Marc Shaiman
Length: 87 minutes
Synopsis: a boy looks for new parents
How I saw it: on video (have on VHS for some inexplicable reason), January 2009
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible).
Objective Rating: 0/10 c. 0.7/4 (Very bad).

Wow. I had expected this to be a bad movie that's enjoyable for all the wrong reasons (I mean, come on, Bruce Willis in a bunny suit). No, it's just flat out terrible. What could so many famous and (otherwise) talented people have been thinking?

Tremors

Title: Tremors
Year: 1990
Director: Ron Underwood
Writers: S.S. Wilson & Brent Maddock; story by Wilson, Maddock & Ron Underwood
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter
Music: Ernest Troost
Length: 96 minutes
Synopsis: underground monsters attack an isolated town
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), January 2009
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay).
Objective Rating: 4/10 (gets points for concept, pacing, special effects/design and subjective rating) c. 2.1/4 (Okay).

I believe this is what they refer to as "an action-packed romp." Surprisingly entertaining for a corny B monster movie.

Annie Hall

Title: Annie Hall
Year: 1977
Director: Woody Allen
Writers: Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman
Starring: Woody Allen, Diane Keaton
Music: (very little) non-original music
Distinctions: Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay and Best Actress (Keaton); Oscar nomination for Best Actor (Allen); currently #136 on IMDb's Top 250
Length: 93 minutes
Synopsis: a neurotic comic recalls a past relationship
How I saw it: on video twice, most recently (rented from Netflix) yesterday
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good).
Objective Rating: 9/10 (1 point off for cinematography) c. 3.3/4 (Very good).

Well-made and pleasant. I don't know about beating Star Wars for Best Picture, but as far as Woody Allen movies go, it's up there. Far from my favorite (I prefer my comedies sillier (not to imply that this isn't funny)), but certainly the most Woody-ish of his classics.

The Powerpuff Girls: Season Two

Title: The Powerpuff Girls: Season Two
Year: 1999-2000
Network: Cartoon Network
Creator: Craig McCracken
Directors: Craig McCracken (13 episodes), John McIntyre (8), Randy Myers (7), Genndy Tartakovsky (5)
Writers: Chris Savino (5 episodes), Cindy Morrow (3), Lynne Naylor (3), Charlie Bean (3), Paul Rudish (2), Dave Smith (2), Clay Morrow (2), Genndy Tartakovsky (1), Lou Romano (1), Don Shank (1), Chris Reccardi (1), Kevin Kaliher (1)
Starring: Cathy Cavadini, Tara Strong, Elizabeth Daily, Tom Kenny, Tom Kane
Music: James L. Venable (theme song)
Episodes: 13, at c. 22 minutes, with two cartoons each
Synopsis: three preschool-aged girls are superheros
How I saw it: on TV; on video (rented from Netflix), February 2009
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great).
Objective Rating: 9/10 (1 point off for cinematography) c. 3.3/4 (Very good).

Pretty much the same quality as the first season, although with slightly fewer episodes that stand out as great.