"Burn-E"

"Burn-E" (short), 2008. A robot has bad luck repairing a spaceship.

Directed by Angus MacLane. Written by MacLane, Andrew Stanton & Derek Thompson.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). Cute. It can't stand on its own without Wall-E, although they could have made it do so - and ended up with a much better cartoon - if they'd wanted to.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.7/4 (Good)

The Magnificent Seven

from my 100 Popular Movies Marathon, part 2 of 100



The Magnificent Seven, 1960. Gunslingers defend a village from bandits.

Directed by John Sturges. Written by William Roberts. Starring Yul Brynner, Eli Wallach, Steve McQueen & Horst Buchholz.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent). It really bothered me that all of the gun sound effects are identical. I could barely pay attention to the final shoot-out, it's so distracting.
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). It's no Seven Samurai, but it's still a pretty darn good movie.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.1/4 (Very good)

Papillon

from my 100 Popular Movies Marathon, part 1 of 100



Papillon, 1973. A man tries to escape from a French prison colony.

Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner. Written by Dalton Trumbo & Lorenzo Semple Jr., based on a book by Henri Charrière. Starring Steve McQueen & Dustin Hoffman.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 0/4 (Terrible)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent).
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent). McQueen actually does some great acting in the solitary confinement scenes. And some remarkably bad acting in the island scenes. I felt embarrassed for the movie.
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). Very uneven. Most of it is pretty good, but then large chunks of it, especially toward the end, are terrible.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.1/4 (Okay)

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, 1977. A compilation of Winnie the Pooh shorts.

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman & John Lounsbery. Written by Winston Hibler, Larry Clemmons, Ralph Wright, Vance Gerry, Xavier Atencio, Ken Anderson, Julius Svendsen, Ted Berman & Eric Cleworth, based on books by A.A. Milne. Starring Sterling Holloway.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent). Too bad they don't let you watch them as shorts. It's like watching three movies in a row without a chance to take a breath in the middle - because that's exactly what it is.
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites, 4/4 5/4). "Blustery Day" and "Tigger Too" aren't as crazy amazaballs wonderful as "Honey Tree," which is a shame, but they're still delightful.  "Honey Tree," though - that is one of the best things ever made.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.6/4 3.7/4 (Great)

VSM: 100 Very Popular Movies We Need To Watch

It's been a busy summer here - not much time to watch stuff, so not much blogging happening. But we are back at it now, with a massive project to draw us in. These are the most popular* features that we've either never seen, or haven't watched in the last five years or so.

* "popular" according to an arbitrary algorithm that takes into account IMDb scores, and number of IMDb votes weighted for the age of the movie

Very Slow Marathon #16: 100 Very Popular Movies We Need To Watch
1. Papillon, 1973
2. The Magnificent Seven, 1960
3. The Ten Commandments, 1956
4. The Matrix Reloaded, 2003
5. Speed, 1994
6. Die Hard: With a Vengeance, 1995
7. The Fifth Element, 1997
8. Taken, 2008
9. Lolita, 1962
10. The Butterfly Effect, 2004
11. RoboCop, 1987
12. Total Recall, 1990
13. Minority Report, 2002
14. Gattaca, 1997
15. Training Day, 2001
16. Dead Poets Society, 1989
17. Back to the Future Part II, 1989
18. The Rock, 1996
19. Scent of a Woman, 1992
20. Back to the Future Part III, 1990
21. The Invisible Man, 1933
22. Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, 1936
23. The Birth of a Nation, 1915
24. Freaks, 1932
25. Intolerance, 1916
26. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, 1999
27. Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, 2005
28. Stagecoach, 1939
29. The Breakfast Club, 1985
30. 300, 2006
31. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, 1986
32. Dirty Harry, 1971
33. The Untouchables, 1987
34. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, 1958
35. The Phantom of the Opera, 1925
36. Blazing Saddles, 1974
37. The Last Laugh, 1924
38. To Have and Have Not, 1944
39. West Side Story, 1961
40. The Evil Dead, 1981
41. A Few Good Men, 1992
42. Night and Fog, 1955
43. Cast Away, 2000
44. X-Men, 2000
45. White Heat, 1949
46. This Is Spinal Tap, 1984
47. X-Men 2, 2003
48. Grease, 1978
49. Sullivan's Travels, 1941
50. Interview with the Vampire, 1994
51. Airplane!, 1980
52. The Fugitive, 1993
53. Breathless, 1960
54. American Psycho, 2000
55. Men in Black, 1997
56. The Rules of the Game, 1939
57. Home Alone, 1990
58. The Game, 1997
59. Mutiny on the Bounty, 1935
60. Clerks, 1994
61. As Good as It Gets, 1997
62. True Romance, 1993
63. Donnie Brasco, 1997
64. The Goonies, 1985
65. Lost in Translation, 2003
- 28 Days Later, 2002
- Aladdin, 1992
- Almost Famous, 2000
- Angels with Dirty Faces, 1938
- Black Hawk Down, 2001
- Blue Velvet, 1986
- Boondock Saints, 1999
- Carlito's Way, 1993
- Catch Me if You Can, 2002
- Collateral, 2004
- Dumb & Dumber, 1994
- Face/Off, 1997
- From Here to Eternity, 1953
- Gangs of New York, 2002
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, 2011
- The Godfather Part III, 1990
- I Am Legend, 2007
- Ice Age, 2002
- The Intouchables, 2011
- Key Largo, 1948
- The Last Samurai, 2003
- Lethal Weapon, 1987
- Love Actually, 2003
- The Notebook, 2004
- Office Space, 1999
- The Others, 2001
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, 2006
- The Pursuit of Happyness, 2006
- Rio Bravo, 1959
- Saw, 2004
- Shrek, 2001
- Superbad, 2007
- To Be or Not to Be, 1942
- Tokyo Story, 1953
- Transformers, 2007

Life of Pi

Life of Pi, 2012. A boy and a tiger in a lifeboat.

Directed by Ang Lee. Written by David Magee, based on a book by Yann Martel. Starring Suraj Sharma & Irrfan Khan.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Maybe it's hurt by watching it on a two-dimensional small screen, but I don't understand all the fuss about the visuals. Yeah, they did a lot of stuff that would have been unfilmable five or ten years ago, but it still just looks like cartoons to me.  This is nitpicking, though; it's a very good movie.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.0/4 (Good)

The World's End

The World's End, 2013. A man tries to relive his youth with a pub crawl, during an invasion of body snatchers.

Directed by Edgar Wright. Written by Simon Pegg & Wright. Starring Pegg.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent). Basically just repeats stuff from Shawn of the Dead.
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Very entertaining, but not particularly memorable.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.8/4 (Good)

Star Trek: Voyager: Season Three

Star Trek: Voyager: Season Three, 1996-1997. A spaceship stranded on the other side of the galaxy continues to make its way home.

Created by Rick Berman, Michael Piller & Jeri Taylor. Directed by David Livingston (5 episodes), Alexander Singer (4), Cliff Bole (3), Winrich Kolbe (2), Robert Duncan McNeill (2), Allan Kroeker (2), Les Landau (1), Jesús Salvador Treviño (1), Robert Picardo (1), Nancy Malone (1), Andrew J. Robinson (1), Robert Scheerer (1), Marvin V. Rush (1) & Anson Williams (1). Written by Brannon Braga (9 episodes), Joe Menosky (8), Lisa Klink (6), Kenneth Biller (5), Jeri Taylor (2), Michael Piller (1), Clayvon C. Harris (1), Mike Sussman (1), George A. Brozak (1), Geo Cameron (1), Andrew Shepard Price (1), Mark Gaberman (1), Shawn Piller (1), André Bormanis (1), Ronald Wilkerson (1), Jean Louise Matthias (1), Jimmy Diggs (1) & Harry 'Doc' Kloor (1). Starring Kate Mulgrew.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad). The writers don't seem to have watched the first two seasons. They weren't good characters to begin with, but now any sense of continuity is gone, without even making improvements.
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). Just as suddenly as Deep Space Nine improved in its third season, Voyager turns to crap.  There are still a handful of very good episodes, and some interesting ideas floating around - enough good to keep me hopeful for later seasons - but mostly it's just bad.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.7/4 (Eh)

Space Janitors: Season Two

Space Janitors: Season Two, 2013. A couple of guys are janitors on the evil empire's space station.

Created & written by Geoff Lapaire & Andy Hull. Directed by Lapaire. Starring Brendan Halloran & Pat Thornton.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). More of the same as season one, but with slightly less hilarity and one of the supporting characters (poorly) replaced.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.1/4 (Okay)

Doctor Who #155: The Greatest Show in the Galaxy

Doctor Who: The Greatest Show in the Galaxy, 1988-1989 (the last story of four from season twenty-five). A sinister circus is sinister.

Directed by Alan Wareing. Written by Stephen Wyatt. Starring Sylvester McCoy & Sophie Aldred.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 1/4 (Bad)
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible, 0/4). It doesn't make sense, it's poorly executed, and it fails to be interesting or entertaining in any way.
Objective Rating (Average): 0.8/4 (Very bad)

Star Trek: First Contact

Star Trek: First Contact, 1996. Alien invaders time travel to a point when Earth is more vulnerable.

Directed by Jonathan Frakes. Written by Brannon Braga & Ronald D. Moore, story by Rick Berman, Braga & Moore, based on a TV show by Gene Roddenberry. Starring Patrick Stewart.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). It's not in any way remarkable, but it's entertaining without any major problems or low points, which is pretty good for a later Star Trek movie.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

Pacific Rim

Pacific Rim, 2013. Giant robots save the world from giant monsters.

Directed by Guillermo del Toro. Written by Travis Beacham & del Toro; story by Beacham. Starring Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba & Rinko Kikuchi.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 0/4 (Terrible)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). Pretty exciting to begin with, but then it just keeps going. Cartoons just keep punching each other. And the special effects seem to get steadily worse through the course of the movie.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.8/4 (Eh)

The Blue Angel

Der blaue Engel, 1930. An old man falls in love with a singer.

Directed by Josef von Sternberg. Written by Carl Zuckmayer, Karl Vollmöller & Robert Liebmann, based on a book by Heinrich Mann. Starring Emil Jannings & Marlene Dietrich.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4). Boring. It has its moments, but it's mostly just a lot of outdated moralizing. (I'm not even clear on what the moral is supposed to be. "Women are dangerous?" Or maybe, "Easy girls are fun to spend the night with, but don't get attached." Whatever it is, they never let you forget that it's the whole point of the movie.)
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

The Birds

The Birds, 1963. A woman follows a man to a small town, where he lives with his over-protective mother.

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock. Written by Evan Hunter, based on a story by Daphne Du Maurier. Starring Tippi Hedren & Rod Taylor.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 0/4 (Terrible)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 0/4 (Terrible). The idea of not having music, just bird sounds, would have worked if (1) more than half the movie had anything to do with birds, and (2) the bird sounds didn't sound like somebody playing bongos with his cat.
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). The first 90 minutes is awful - mostly boring "development" of shit characters, with the occasional unintentionally funny bird attack. The last half hour, on the other hand, is great. But why sit through the crap when you can just skip to the good bits by watching Night of the Living Dead instead?
Objective Rating (Average): 1.2/4 (Bad)

Man of Steel

Man of Steel, 2013. An alien raised on Earth defends his adopted world.

Directed by Zack Snyder. Written by David S. Goyer; story by Goyer & Christopher Nolan, based on a character by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster. Starring Henry Cavill, Amy Adams & Michael Shannon.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent). I can see how if you want to make a long-lasting franchise that takes itself seriously, you probably feel the need to do the whole origin thing to establish exactly what's what in this version. But why do I want to watch it? Also: General Zod? Seriously? That's almost as bad as using Khan as the "new" Star Trek villain.
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good). Since this is Snyder, I almost think I should give some bonus points for not using slow-motion.
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good). Cavill makes a great Superman. (He doesn't get a chance to play mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent, though, which is a shame.)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). I'm looking forward to the sequel. This movie doesn't do much for me, and I suspect the action would be mind-numbingly dull on a re-watch. But there's a lot of potential. It establishes a great cast and setting for an epic DC Comics movie franchise, and that is exciting.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

Doctor Who: Series Seven, Part Two

Doctor Who: Series Seven Part Two, 2013. An alien travels through space and time with a human girl.

Created by Sydney Newman, C.E. Webber & Donald Wilson. Directed by Saul Metzstein (2 episodes), Colm McCarthy (1), Farren Blackburn (1), Douglas Mackinnon (1), Jamie Payne (1), Mat King (1) & Stephen Woolfenden (1). Written by Steven Moffat (2 episodes), Neil Cross (2), Mark Gatiss (2), Stephen Thompson (1) & Neil Gaiman (1). Starring Matt Smith & Jenna-Louise Coleman.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 1/4 (Bad). None of the individual episodes have particularly good stories, and any of their harmlessness is offset by a terrible overarching "mystery."
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent). Clara barely gets a chance to be a character at all, and when she is it's usually as a collection of Doctor Who Companion tropes (What's that you say? The new companion is a plucky young woman from present-day London? How do they think of these things!). Meanwhile, after three seasons, I still have no idea what the 11th Doctor is like - except that he has a habit of running into River Song, which is almost as annoying as, say, the 6th Doctor's costume.
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Aaaand all of the optimism I had from the first part of the season is gone entirely. It's still a pretty good show (it is Doctor Who, after all), but my excitement level for more is just about at zero. The reveal at the end of the finale does nothing, since Moffat is so damn predictable at this point that no one would believe for a second that he would actually do anything with the potential to cause real change in the show. Which would be fine, if the show behaved like Doctor Who should - if it were a series of adventures. Instead, he keeps trying to tease things, trying to imply that something really big is coming. And he never delivers. He barely ever manages to deliver comprehensible plot resolutions, much less Something Big. His idea of a major revelation is to have someone say, "this is a major revelation," then carry on as before. This show desperately needs a change - something majorly different, like a female Doctor, or an old Doctor, or an established actor, or a companion that isn't just another in the long line of Rose clones. But Moffat will never do it.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

Oblivion

Oblivion, 2013. A small team maintains power facilities on a ruined, emptied Earth.

Directed by Joseph Kosinski. Written by Karl Gajdusek & Michael Arndt, based on a book by Kosinski. Starring Tom Cruise.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great). Amazing enough to single-handedly make a boring movie entertaining to watch.
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent). Sometimes it's a retro pop score, which is novel and effective. Sometimes it's a typical 2010s Action/Adventure Movie score, which is mindless and awful.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). It's real science fiction, and that is a rare and precious thing. Despite everything that's wrong with it (and there is a LOT wrong with it), I have say it's good. It fails in most regards when it comes to being a movie. But when it comes to being science fiction, the most important thing is to be worth talking about - to raise questions and interesting ideas that are worth analyzing and discussing. And as far as that goes, it absolutely succeeds. Just don't make me watch it a second time.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

Breaking Bad: Season Five

Breaking Bad: Season Five [part 1? I'm not clear on how they're labeling this], 2012. A ruthless meth cook builds his empire.

Created by Vince Gilligan. Directed by Michelle MacLaren (2 episodes), Michael Slovis (1), Adam Bernstein (1), Rian Johnson (1), George Mastras (1), Colin Bucksey (1) & Thomas Schnauz (1). Written by Gilligan (2 episodes), Peter Gould (1), Sam Catlin (1), Mastras (1), Gennifer Hutchison (1), Schnauz (1) & Moira Walley-Beckett (1). Starring Bryan Cranston.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). It's not really as good as previous seasons (not that that's a particularly strong criticism). Skyler has turned into a helpless victim, and most of the other main characters are more or less waiting in the background for the story to get to a point where they're needed again. And now that Walt has real power and resources, a lot of what's happening is stuff that's been done already in movies. But still, I can't wait to see what happens next.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.3/4 (Very good)

Game of Thrones: Season Two

Game of Thrones: Season Two, 2012. Various factions plot to gain political control over a fantasy world.

Created by David Benioff & D. B. Weiss, based on books by George R. R. Martin. Directed by Alan Taylor (4 episodes), David Petrarca (2), David Nutter (2), Alik Sakharov (1) & Neil Marshall (1). Written by Benioff (6 episodes), Weiss (6), Vanessa Taylor (2), Bryan Cogman (1) & Martin (1). Starring Peter Dinklage & Lena Headey.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great). It took several episodes of being frustrated by the flatness of characters (especially Robb Stark) before it became clear that the people in the center of the action are not in fact the main characters.
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). I don't know if I'm the only person watching this show that hasn't read the books, but I find it to be impossible to always know what's going on with every sub-plot. Often when I ask my wife (who has read the books up to this point) why something is happening, or who someone is, the answer is something that wasn't even in the show. But apart from that, it's very engrossing, albeit in a sometimes (deliberately) uncomfortable way.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.8/4 (Good)

Doctor Who: The Snowmen

Doctor Who: "The Snowmen" (tv special), 2012. A girl and a misfit crime-solving gang convince the Doctor to save Christmas again.

Created by Sydney Newman, C.E. Webber & Donald Wilson. Directed by Saul Metzstein. Written by Steven Moffat. Starring Matt Smith & Jenna Coleman.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent). Um... your show did this already, Moffat. Remember the 10th Doctor? No?
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 3/4 (Good). Victorian Governess Clara is a great companion, up until the end of the episode where they're all like "ooooh, mystery," and why can't they just go on adventures damn it.
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). The plot is complete gibberish, but that's okay because most of the focus is just on the characters, who are a lot of fun.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.7/4 (Good)