The Karate Kid

Data
Title: The Karate Kid
Year: 2010
Length: 140 minutes
Director: Harald Zwart
Writer: Christopher Murphey; story by Robert Mark Kamen
Starring: Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, Taraji P. Henson, Wenwen Han
Music: James Horner (and non-original music)
How I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), yesterday
Synopsis: a kid moves to China, gets bullied and learns kung fu

My reaction
Concept: Bad. It was an okay concept for the original movie, but in this one the kids are much younger, so it doesn't make any sense.
Story: Bad.
Characters: Indifferent.
Dialog: Good.
Pacing: Terrible. Who thought it was a good idea to remake a corny 1980s kids' movie as a sprawling epic? What the hell?
Cinematography: Good.
Special effects/design: Great.
Acting: Good. Everyone is very good, especially Jackie Chan. His horrible career must be a deliberate choice because apparently the guy can really bring it when he wants to.
Music: Terrible. It just wouldn't be The Karate Kid if it didn't have one of the worst soundtracks of all time.
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent). It's jarringly amoral for a movie that pretends to have a pacifist philosophy. It's at least as corny as the original, but takes itself seriously, with only occasional gags or one-liners to lighten the tone. Seeing brutal beatings or sexual tension in a cast of 12-year-olds is completely tasteless. It is, by its nature, as predictable as a movie you've already seen. It's in love with an oppressive, anti-American nation and isn't shy about it. But it also has surprising moments of greatness, enough to let you realize that, no, remaking The Karate Kid isn't a dumb idea - they just happen to be doing it poorly.
Objective Rating: 1.9/4 (Eh).