Game of Thrones: Season Three

Game of Thrones: Season Three, 2013. Various factions plot to gain political control over a fantasy world.

Created by David Benioff & D. B. Weiss, based on books by George R. R. Martin. Directed by Daniel Minahan (2 episodes), Alex Graves (2), Michelle MacLaren (2), David Nutter (2), Benioff (1), & Alik Sakharov (1). Written by Benioff (7 episodes), Weiss (7), Vanessa Taylor (1), Bryan Cogman (1), & Martin (1). Starring Peter Dinklage, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Lena Headey, Emilia Clarke, Kit Harington, & Richard Madden.

Concept: B
Story: B
Characters: Hey, Jon Snow, maybe you should brood some more. Or maybe sulk a little. Your part of the show is just too much fun. B
Dialog: B
Pacing: B
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: B
Acting: B
Music: C
Enjoyment: I just don't seem to get as excited about Game of Thrones as I should. It's the kind of epic chess game that I like. There are a lot of great characters. (Although there are also some extremely boring ones. I'd never known it was possible to be dour while scaling a cliff.) I think the problem might be the wait between seasons. It's one big story, and watching one season at a time is kind of like watching one scene of a movie at a time. Just when I start to get drawn in, it's over for a year and I'm out of it again. B

GPA: 2.8/4

Blue Is the Warmest Color

La vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2, 2013. A girl falls in love and has a doomed relationship.

Directed by Abdellatif Kechiche. Written by Kechiche & Ghalia Lacroix, based on a book by Julie Maroh. Starring Adèle Exarchopoulos, with Léa Seydoux.

Concept: C
Story: D
Characters: The protagonist is extremely well-realized (thanks to Exarchopoulos' performance). The other characters are more scenery and plot devices than people. Even her love interest is rarely anything more than just something that happens to her. B
Dialog: C
Pacing: F
Cinematography: B
Special effects/design: B
Acting: A
Music: C
Enjoyment: There's longing, then sex, then pain. In a three hour love story, they managed to avoid love entirely (apart from the heartbreak aspect of it). So French. C

GPA: 2.2/4

RoboCop

RoboCop, 2014. A murdered cop is turned into a cyborg.

Directed by José Padilha. Written by Joshua Zetumer, based on a film written by Edward Neumeier & Michael Miner. Starring Joel Kinnaman, with Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley & Michael K. Williams.

Concept: C
Story: C
Characters: C
Dialog: C
Pacing: C
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: Great effects, lazy design. Looking for a still, I had trouble sometimes telling if images were from the remake or the original. B
Acting: C
Music: C
Enjoyment: Surprisingly not awful at all. It's better than the original - not that that's saying much. I wouldn't exactly recommend it, but there are much worse ways to spend two hours. C

GPA: 2.1/4

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Four

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Four, 1999-2000. The vampire-hunting teenager goes to college.

Created by Joss Whedon. Directed by James A. Contner (6 episodes), Whedon (4), David Grossman (4), David Solomon (3), Michael Gershman (2), Tucker Gates (1), Michael Lange (1) & Nick Marck (1). Written by Marti Noxon (5 episodes), Jane Espenson (5), Whedon (4), David Fury (4), Tracey Forbes (3) & Douglas Petrie (3). Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, with Nicholas Brendon, Alyson Hannigan, Anthony Stewart Head, Seth Green, James Marsters & Marc Blucas.

Concept: C
Story: C
Characters: B
Dialog: B
Pacing: C
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: B
Acting: B
Music: C
Enjoyment: I don't know how, but they managed to come up with a love interest for Buffy that's even more tedious than Season Three Angel. Between that and a main villain who's not any fun, it's a pretty weak season. On the other hand, the other characters are all great (with the exception of Oz, who gets a pretty crappy exit), and there are a handful of stand-out episodes. "Hush" in particular is one of the best hours of TV I've ever seen. B

GPA: 2.5/4

Imaginary Oscars

These are the movies of 2013 that would win and be nominated for Oscars if my wife and I were the Academy. Because it's more fun than predictions.

It's been a few years since the last "annual" Pantsy Awards, thanks to some poor theater attendance on our part. But they are back. It should be noted that, as usual, we haven't had a chance to see all the important movies of last year. We've only seen 28 features in all, with some glaring omissions including 12 Years a Slave, The Wolf of Wall Street, Blue Is the Warmest Color, Philomena and The Wind Rises.

Best Poster
runners-up:
- Captain Phillips
- Fruitvale Station
- Inside Llewyn Davis
winners (tie):
- Gravity
- Nebraska

Best Visual Effects
runners-up:
- All Is Lost
- Catching Fire
- The Hobbit 2
- Oblivion
winner:
- Gravity

Best Costume Design
runners-up:
- American Hustle
- Her
- Inside Llewyn Davis
- Oblivion
winner:
- Catching Fire

Best Production Design
runners-up:
- American Hustle
- Frozen
- Inside Llewyn Davis
- Oblivion
winner:
- Her

Best Original Score
runners-up:
- Arcade Fire & Owen Pallett, Her
- Michael Giacchino, Star Trek into Darkness
- Henry Jackman, Captain Phillips
- Steven Price, Gravity
winner:
- Alex Ebert, All Is Lost

Best Song
runners-up:
- Anthony Gonzalez & Susanne Sundfør, "Oblivion," Oblivion
- Robert Lopez & Kristen Anderson-Lopez, "Let It Go," Frozen
- Pharrell Williams, "Happy," Despicable Me 2
winners (tie):
- Karen O & Spike Jonze, "The Moon Song," Her
- Keith Stanfield & Destin Cretton, "So You Know What It's Like," Short Term 12

Best Cinematography
runners-up:
- Hoyte Van Hoytema, Her
- Bruno Delbonnel, Inside Llewyn Davis
- Phedon Papamichael, Nebraska
- Guillermo Navarro, Pacific Rim
winner:
- Emmanuel Lubezki, Gravity

Best Directing
runners-up:
- Noah Baumbach, Frances Ha
- Paul Greengrass, Captain Phillips
- Spike Jonze, Her
- Alexander Payne, Nebraska
winner:
- Alfonso Cuarón, Gravity

Best Adapted Screenplay
runners-up:
- Destin Cretton, Short Term 12
- Jennifer Lee, Frozen
- Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy & Ethan Hawke, Before Midnight
winners (tie):
- Simon Beaufoy & Michael Arndt, Catching Fire
- Billy Ray, Captain Phillips

Best Original Screenplay
runners-up:
- Woody Allen, Blue Jasmine
- Noah Baumbach & Greta Gerwig, Frances Ha
- Craig Borten & Melisa Wallack, Dallas Buyers Club
- Bob Nelson, Nebraska
winner:
- Spike Jonze, Her

Best Supporting Actor
runners-up:
- George Clooney, Gravity
- Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
- Keith Stanfield, Short Term 12
winner:
- Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips

Best Supporting Actress
runners-up:
- Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
- Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
- June Squibb, Nebraska
winner:
- Scarlett Johansson, Her

Best Lead Actor
runners-up:
- Christian Bale, American Hustle
- Bruce Dern, Nebraska
- Michael B. Jordan, Fruitvale Station
- Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
winner:
- Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips

Best Lead Actress
runners-up:
- Amy Adams, American Hustle
- Sandra Bullock, Gravity
- Greta Gerwig, Frances Ha
- Brie Larson, Short Term 12
winner:
- Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine

Best Picture
runners-up:
- All Is Lost
- Captain Phillips
- Catching Fire
- Dallas Buyers Club
- Frances Ha
- Fruitvale Station
- Gravity
- Nebraska
- Short Term 12
winner:
- Her

Tabletop: Season Two

Tabletop: Season Two, 2013-2014. Minor celebrities (and some not-so-celebrities) play board games.

Created by Wil Wheaton & Felicia Day. Directed by Jennifer Arnold. Starring Wheaton.

Concept: A
Story: C
Characters: D
Dialog: B
Pacing: C
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: n/a
Music: C
Enjoyment: More of the same as season one - which is just fine with me. (I'm not sure how a third season will work, though, as they seem to already be running low on great games that work well in this format.) A+

GPA: 2.6/4

The Twilight Zone: "Third from the Sun"

The Twilight Zone: "Third from the Sun" (episode 14 of 36 from season one), 1960. Some people try to escape a nuclear war.

Created by Rod Serling. Directed by Richard L. Bare. Written by Serling, based on a story by Richard Matheson. Starring Fritz Weaver, with Edward Andrews, Joe Maross, Denise Alexander & Lori March.

Concept: B
Story: B
Characters: C
Dialog: B
Pacing: B
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: B
Music: B
Enjoyment: Another one that's gripping to start with, when you don't know where it's going. Then when you figure it out, you're just sort of waiting for it to go through the motions. B

GPA: 2.7/4

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

On Her Majesty's Secret Service, 1969. James Bond tracks Blofeld to the Swiss Alps.

Directed by Peter R. Hunt. Written by Richard Maibaum, with Simon Raven, based on a book by Ian Fleming. Starring George Lazenby, with Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti & Ilse Steppat.

Concept: B
Story: C
Characters: B
Dialog: D
Pacing: D
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: C
Music: B
Enjoyment: One of the better 60s Bond films (faithfully adapted from one of the better books). It's too long (for no good reason), and doesn't have much style or fun (despite some off attempts at the latter). But it does have characters - a first for the series. B

GPA: 2.2/4

The Twilight Zone: "The Four of Us Are Dying"

The Twilight Zone: "The Four of Us Are Dying" (episode 13 of 36 from season one), 1960. A conman can change his face.

Created by Rod Serling. Directed by John Brahm. Written by Serling, based on a story by George Clayton Johnson. Starring Harry Townes, Phillip Pine, Ross Martin & Don Gordon.

Concept: B
Story: F
Characters: C
Dialog: C
Pacing: C
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: B
Music: A
Enjoyment: Pointless. The character just sort of wanders aimlessly for a half hour. C

GPA: 2.2/4

The Twilight Zone: "What You Need"

The Twilight Zone: "What You Need" (episode 12 of 36 from season one), 1959. A kind old man who can see the future is harassed.

Created by Rod Serling. Directed by Alvin Ganzer. Written by Serling, based on a story by Henry Kuttner & C.L. Moore. Starring Steve Cochran & Ernest Truex.

Concept: B
Story: C
Characters: C
Dialog: B
Pacing: B
Cinematography: B
Special effects/design: C
Acting: B
Music: B
Enjoyment: A pretty standard episode. Unremarkable, but without any real failings. B

GPA: 2.7/4

About Last Night

About Last Night, 2014. A year in the life of two new couples.

Directed by Steve Pink. Written by Leslye Headland, based on a film written by Tim Kazurinsky & Denise DeClue, based on a play by David Mamet. Starring Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall & Joy Bryant, with Christopher McDonald, Adam Rodriguez, Joe Lo Truglio & Paula Patton.

Concept: D
Story: F
Characters: Two fun characters, and two boring characters. C
Dialog: A
Pacing: B
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: B
Music: B
Enjoyment: Hart & Hall are hilarious. It could have been a great movie if they'd cut out all the stuff with the crappy Romantic Comedy Characters, and just had the funny scenes. The other stuff (aka "the plot") is so cliche and obvious, there's really no story-telling reason to bother with showing any of it happening. B

GPA: 2.3/4

Scent of a Woman

from my 100 Popular Movies Marathon, part 19 of 100



Scent of a Woman, 1992. A teenager looks after a blind asshole for a weekend.

Directed by Martin Brest. Written by Bo Goldman, based on a film written by Ruggero Maccari & Dino Risi, based on a novel by Giovanni Arpino. Starring Al Pacino & Chris O'Donnell, with James Rebhorn, Gabrielle Anwar & Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Concept: D
Story: C
Characters: B
Dialog: B
Pacing: D
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: A
Music: C
Enjoyment: It could have easily been an hour shorter. When it's not boring, it's usually unpleasant. O'Donnell's character is sympathetic, but he's helpless, so you just have to watch him suffer for two hours before things start to turn around. C

GPA: 2.2/4

The Rock

from my 100 Popular Movies Marathon, part 18 of 100



The Rock, 1996. Terrorists with chemical weapons use Alcatraz as a fortress.

Directed by Michael Bay. Written by David Weisberg, Douglas Cook & Mark Rosner; story by Weisberg & Cook. Starring Sean Connery & Nicolas Cage, with Ed Harris, John Spencer, William Forsythe, Vanessa Marcil & some big fireballs.

Concept: D
Story: D
Characters: C
Dialog: D
Pacing: D
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: B
Acting: C
Music: D
Enjoyment: I know it's a lot to ask of a Michael Bay movie, but I really wish anything in it made any sense. If just, like, one thing could make sense. That would be nice. D

GPA: 1.5/4

Back to the Future Part II

from my 100 Popular Movies Marathon, part 17 of 100



Back to the Future Part II, 1989. A teenager travels into the future to when his kids are his age.

Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Written by Bob Gale; story by Zemeckis & Gale. Starring Michael J. Fox, with Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Thomas F. Wilson & Elisabeth Shue.

Concept: B
Story: It's the Return of the Jedi of the Back to the Future trilogy - half a movie spent cleaning up the last movie's cliffhanger, and half a movie trying to be a movie (and not being very good at it). D
Characters: C
Dialog: C
Pacing: B
Cinematography: B
Special effects/design: The proto-Forest Gump stuff was probably very impressive at the time. Whatever. C
Acting: C
Music: C
Enjoyment: It's okay, I guess. I think they forgot it was supposed to be a comedy. But it has a manic energy that keeps it from getting as boring as a movie with this plot should be. C

GPA: 2.2/4

All Is Lost

All Is Lost, 2013. A man alone at sea has a really bad week.

Written & directed by J.C. Chandor. Starring Robert Redford.

Concept: A
Story: C
Characters: C
Dialog: There is, in fact, dialog, contrary to what I had been led to believe. B
Pacing: C
Cinematography: A
Special effects/design: Impressive effects. I had thought it was actually filmed at sea. B
Acting: A
Music: Alex Ebert is the new Morricone. He should quit his pop star day job and just do film scores full time. A
Enjoyment: It feels long and it's very repetitive ("Oh, wait, are things about to get worse somehow? Okay. How about now? Worse again? Yep, thought so."). But it's an action/adventure movie with a brain, which is one of my favorite things. And the relative lack of dialog means you can discuss (and/or heckle) the film while it's happening without missing anything. B

GPA: 3.1/4

Happy-Go-Lucky

Happy-Go-Lucky, 2008. A relentlessly cheerful school teacher takes driving lessons from an angry man.

Written & directed by Mike Leigh. Starring Sally Hawkins.

Concept: C
Story: B
Characters: A
Dialog: A
Pacing: B
Cinematography: B
Special effects/design: C
Acting: A
Music: B
Enjoyment: Very well-written. The main characters are extremes to an almost ridiculous degree, but are still completely real. They're the sort of characters that you might often see in real life, but wouldn't normally accept in a movie because they're too perfectly suited to be Entertaining Movie Characters, and because most writers wouldn't know how to make them more than a bundle of quirks. B

GPA: 3.1/4

The Lego Movie

The Lego Movie, 2014. A generic construction worker is called upon to save the Lego world.

Written & directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller. Story by Dan & Kevin Hageman, Lord & Miller. Starring Chris Pratt.

Concept: Brilliant. No, seriously. A
Story: C
Characters: B
Dialog: A
Pacing: A
Cinematography: B
Special effects/design: A
Acting: B
Music: B
Enjoyment: I'm still having trouble believing that this movie getting made is something that actually happened. How did this happen? A

GPA: 3.4/4

Survivor: Season 23

Survivor: Season 23, 2011. A reality game on a South Pacific island.

Created by Charlie Parsons. Starring Jeff Probst.

Concept: C
Story: C
Characters: B
Dialog: C
Pacing: B
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: n/a
Music: C
Enjoyment: Most of the contestants played a pretty solid game, and a good handful of them were fun to root for. The requisite crazy people were more cringe-inducing than entertaining, though. B

GPA: 2.3/4

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Season Seven

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Season Seven, 1998-1999. Galactic war is waged.

Created by Rick Berman & Michael Piller. Directed by Allan Kroeker (4 episodes), Steve Posey (4), Mike Vejar (3), Winrich Kolbe (2), Les Landau (2), Chip Chalmers (1), Jonathan West (1), John Kretchmer (1), Anson Williams (1), Victor Lobl (1), LeVar Burton (1), Tony Dow (1), David Livingston (1), René Auberjonois (1), Michael Dorn (1) & Avery Brooks (1). Written by Ira Steven Behr (8 episodes), Hans Beimler (8), René Echevarria (7), Ronald D. Moore (7), David Weddle (4), Bradley Thompson (4), Philip Kim (1), David Mack (1), John J. Ordover (1), Robert Hewitt Wolfe (1), Spike Steingasser (1) & Peter Allan Fields (1). Starring Avery Brooks.

Concept: B
Story: B
Characters: B
Dialog: B
Pacing: B
Cinematography: D
Special effects/design: B
Acting: B
Music: C
Enjoyment: Things have to get wrapped up by the end, so that makes the story arc fairly predictable (at least in terms of where things are going - not so much in how we get there), and leaves less room for the writers to play around. But apart from that unavoidable constraint, they keep up the quality of season six. Personally, I'll always love the original series best. But objectively speaking, Deep Space Nine is clearly the best that Star Trek has to offer. It probably should have had another season or two, though; it's a shame they wasted their first two. A

GPA: 2.8/4

The Freshman

The Freshman, 1925. An enthusiastically oblivious dork goes to college.

Directed by Fred C. Newmeyer & Sam Taylor. Written by Taylor, Ted Wilde, John Grey & Tim Whelan. Starring Harold Lloyd.

Concept: C
Story: C
Characters: C
Dialog: C
Pacing: Most sequences go on for too long, except for the romantic scenes, which are too short. C
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: B
Music: C
Enjoyment: Pleasant and cute. It's a character driven story, which is a big change of pace for Harold. Hopefully he sticks with this approach - he's just not funny enough for feature-length slapstick. C

GPA: 2.1/4

the first hour of Casino Royale (1967)

Casino Royale, 1967. Something to do with James Bond, kind of.

Directed by Ken Hughes, John Huston, Joseph McGrath, Robert Parrish, & Richard Talmadge. Written by Wolf Mankowitz, John Law & Michael Sayers, based on a book by Ian Fleming. Starring Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress & David Niven.

(estimated ratings, as I didn't finish the movie)
Enjoyment: So completely terrible, it made me want to cry a little. I guess it was meant to be a comedy? It has the tone of a comedy (so far as it has a tone at all), and the synopsis says it's a spoof, and there's a joke every ten minutes or so. The first thing I could definitely say was meant to be funny was a little over fourteen minutes in. Nearly halfway through the movie, I still couldn't say what the plot was. Most of the time I either didn't know what was happening, or didn't know why it was happening; the rest of the time, I didn't know what it had to do with anything else that had happened. I'm fairly confident that this movie's quality-of-product-to-talent-involved ratio is lower than any other movie. F
(Estimated) GPA: 0.9/4

Hot Water

Hot Water, 1924. A man has an awful mother-in-law.

Directed by Fred C. Newmeyer & Sam Taylor. Written by Taylor, John Grey, Tim Whelan & Thomas J. Gray. Starring Harold Lloyd.

Concept: F
Story: D
Characters: D
Dialog: C
Pacing: C
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: B
Acting: C
Music: C
Enjoyment: Not funny. Not even a little. D

GPA: 1.6/4

The Twilight Zone: "And When the Sky Was Opened"

The Twilight Zone: "And When the Sky Was Opened" (episode 11 of 36 from season one), 1959. A pilot's friend disappears after an experimental flight.

Created by Rod Serling. Directed by Douglas Heyes. Written by Serling, based on a story by Richard Matheson. Starring Rod Taylor.

Concept: B
Story: C
Characters: C
Dialog: B
Pacing: B
Cinematography: B
Special effects/design: C
Acting: C
Music: B
Enjoyment: It's fascinating, while you still believe it's going somewhere. I keep telling myself, they're fairy tales, things don't have to be explained. But this one presents itself as a mystery. Introducing a mystery without a solution - or without even any resolution - is extremely frustrating. C

GPA: 2.5/4

The Twilight Zone: "Judgment Night"

The Twilight Zone: "Judgment Night" (episode 10 of 36 from season one), 1959. A German man doesn't know how he got on a British ship hunted by a u-boat.

Created & written by Rod Serling. Directed by John Brahm. Starring Nehemiah Persoff.

Concept: B
Story: B
Characters: C
Dialog: B
Pacing: A
Cinematography: B
Special effects/design: B
Acting: B
Music: B
Enjoyment: The first half is gripping. Things turn predictable very quickly, though, and once you can guess what's going on, the suspense disappears. B

GPA: 3.0/4

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, 2013. Dwarves and a hobbit continue their journey.

Directed by Peter Jackson. Written by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Jackson & Guillermo del Toro, based on a book by J.R.R. Tolkien. Starring Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman & Richard Armitage.

Concept: B
Story: D
Characters: D
Dialog: D
Pacing: F
Cinematography: D
Special effects/design: C
Acting: B
Music: C
Enjoyment: Three hours long and feels like six. The first Hobbit movie had one good sequence - this one has two (the spiders, and Bilbo's first encounter with Smaug - not coincidentally both taken from the book). So, I guess that's an improvement, although nothing here is nearly as good as the Gollum sequence in the first movie. The really frustrating thing about all of this is that there is clearly a great 2-hour movie buried in this 9-hour trilogy. C

GPA: 1.6/4