"I Am So Proud of You"

"I Am So Proud of You" (short), 2008. A man with unspecified neurological problems, chapter two.

Written by, directed by & starring Don Hertzfeldt.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 4/4 (Great)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 4/4 (Great). It would have been nice to have an actor do the narration, but he does better on this one than the other two chapters.
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 10/10 (Favorite of my favorites, 4/4). The comedy of the Beautiful Day trilogy, and Hertzfeldt's masterpiece. I can't think of anything else that combines hilarity and beauty like this, keeping both of them going at the same time. The sequence in which we learn Bill's family history is probably the best thing from any film I've ever seen.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.6/4 3.7/4 (Great)

(update of a previous post - original is here)

Best of My 2012

The best titles in each of my ratings categories, of everything I saw for the first time since last year's year-end list:

Concept
1. The Wiz, 1978
2. The War of the Worlds, 1953
3. Fantastic Planet, 1973

Story
1. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, 2007
2. Looper, 2012
3. A Separation, 2011

Characters
1. Beginners, 2011
2. Moonrise Kingdom, 2012
3. Breaking Bad (tv series), 2008

Dialog
1. The Guard, 2011
2. Animal Crackers, 1930
3. Moonrise Kingdom, 2012

Pacing
1. Swing Time, 1936
2. The Avengers, 2012
3. The Lady Eve, 1941

Cinematography
1. Planet Earth (tv series), 2006
2. Skyfall, 2012
3. Days of Heaven, 1978

Special Effects/Design
1. Prometheus, 2012
2. Brave, 2012
3. Band of Brothers (tv series), 2001

Acting
1. Shame, 2011
2. A Woman Under the Influence, 1974
3. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, 2011

Music
1. Hedwig and the Angry Inch, 2001
2. Dr. No, 1962
3. Midnight in Paris, 2011

Subjective Rating
1. Moonrise Kingdom, 2012 (9/10)
2. The Avengers, 2012 (9/10)
3. Doctor Who (tv series), 2011-2012 (9/10)
4. Swing Time, 1936 (8/10)
5. Game of Thrones (tv series), 2011 (8/10)

Objective Rating
1. Moonrise Kingdom, 2012 (3.7/4)
2. Looper, 2012 (3.5/4)
3. Warrior, 2011 (3.4/4)
4. The Guard, 2011 (3.4/4)
5. Skyfall, 2012 (3.4/4)

"It's Such a Beautiful Day"

"It's Such a Beautiful Day" (short), 2011. A man with unspecified neurological problems, chapter three.

Written by, directed by & starring Don Hertzfeldt.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent). It's the first Don Hertzfeldt film where I found myself checking the time.
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent). The voice work continues to be mediocre, but this time the animation doesn't make up for it - the character is too out of it to warrant any acting.
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). There's hardly any humor. There's none of the amazing expressiveness to the animation that I loved so much in the previous installment. Mostly the focus is on special effects and novel visuals. It's a beautiful, and beautifully sad, film, but it's more pretentious than fun.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.9/4 (Good)

The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season One

The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season One, 1961-1962. A goofy husband/father writes for a TV show.

Created by Carl Reiner. Directed by John Rich (23 episodes), Sheldon Leonard (3), Robert Butler (2) & James Komack (2). Written by Reiner (19 episodes), David Adler (3), Walter Kempley (2), Norm Liebmann (2), Ed Haas (2), Jack Raymond (1), Arnold Peyser (1), Lois Peyser (1), Leo Solomon (1), Ben Gershman (1) & John Whedon (1). Starring Dick Van Dyke.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent). Great performances; okay acting.
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Hilarious, but too sitcom-y. I guess that's unavoidable with an early 60's sitcom. I just wish this cast was in a variety show instead. The best parts are when they stop the plot for a few minutes and just put on an act of some sort.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

"Orange Blossoms for Violet"

"Orange Blossoms for Violet" (short), 1952. A monkey melodrama.

Unknown director. Written by Friz Freleng & Chuck Jones. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad). Mel Blanc couldn't even be troubled to give the different characters unique voices.
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible, 0/4). The Looney Tunes staff tortures animals for a laugh. They don't even have them do or say anything funny; just their being on screen is supposed to be enough, I guess.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.1/4 (Bad)

Doctor Who #107: Nightmare of Eden

Doctor Who: "Nightmare of Eden," 1979 (the fourth story of six from season seventeen). A passenger spaceship carrying a drug smuggler materializes on top of another ship.

Created by Sydney Newman, C.E. Webber & Donald Wilson. Directed by Alan Bromly & Graham Williams. Written by Bob Baker. Starring Tom Baker & Lalla Ward.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad). Mediocre design, terrible effects.
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 1/4 (Bad)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). Occasional great dialog and some clever ideas keep it watchable. The script is a mess, but it's a silly mess that might have made for a fun serial. It's execution, though, is bad at best.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.8/4 (Eh)

Game of Thrones: Season One

From my Best TV Shows We've Never Seen marathon - part 4 of 5.



Game of Thrones: Season One, 2011. Various factions plot to gain political control over a fantasy world.

Created by David Benioff & D. B. Weiss, based on books by George R. R. Martin. Directed by Brian Kirk (3 episodes), Daniel Minahan (3), Tim Van Patten (2) & Alan Taylor (2). Written by Benioff (8 episodes), Weiss (8), Bryan Cogman (1), Jane Espenson (1) & Martin (1). Starring Sean Bean.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good). It could have been an hour or two shorter without losing anything. That didn't bother me while I was watching it (except when that damn raven dream kept repeating), but I expect it would seriously mar the show's rewatchability.
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good). Crazy good for a TV show.
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 1/4 (Bad)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). I'm reluctantly giving it an 8 instead of a 9. I loved watching it, but there are a few major problems. Some key plot points are unexplained. Martin's obsession with incest is off-putting. Some of the villains are senselessly evil just for the sake of being villains (huge pet peeve of mine). Oddly, the biggest problem is that there is a ridiculous amount of gratuitous sex and nudity, to the point where it becomes funny. The general rule seems to be that if there's no good reason for characters to not be having sex during their scene, then what are their clothes still on for goddamnit? HBO viewers demand titties! Fantasy is always treading a fine line between immersing and silly, so a show like this that takes itself Very Seriously couldn't do much worse than give you a reason to laugh at it.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.8/4 (Good)

"Haunted Spooks"

"Haunted Spooks" (short), 1920. A girl must marry someone and live in a house in order to inherit it.

Directed by Alfred J. Goulding & Hal Roach. Written by H.M. Walker. Starring Harold Lloyd & Mildred Davis.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good). Mildred Davis is adorable in this. At one point she almost steals a scene just by laughing at Harold.
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). Most of the film is good. Some of Lloyd's funniest bits are in it, and it doesn't have any down time. But once they finally get around to the haunted spooks part (which is just at the end), it turns racist; they put the gags on hold for some minstrel crap.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

"Beep, Beep"

"Beep, Beep" (short), 1952. Coyote tries to catch Roadrunner.

Directed by Chuck Jones. Written by Michael Maltese.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). Roadrunner cartoons might be recycled, repetitive, and effectively made on an assembly line, but that doesn't matter much because in the end they work. Jones and Maltese know how to pull off gags brilliantly, and this format lets them just do that with nothing else to get in the way.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.9/4 (Good)

The Sound of Music

The Sound of Music, 1965. A governess brings music and joy back into a motherless home; also, Nazis.

Directed by Robert Wise. Written by Ernest Lehman, based on a play by Howard Lindsay & Russel Crouse. Starring Julie Andrews.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good). The songs are great, but they aren't great film music. They rarely do anything to advance the story, there's too many of them, and they go on for too long (often with nothing happening on screen while they're sung).
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It has it's moments - nowhere near enough of them to warrant a three-hour movie, but they're in there.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.1/4 (Okay)

Downton Abbey: Series One

Downton Abbey: Series One, 2010. The goings-on in a large English household in the 1910s.

Created by Julian Fellowes. Directed by Brian Percival (3 episodes), Ben Bolt (2) & Brian Kelly (2). Written by Fellowes, with Shelagh Stephenson (1 episode) & Tina Pepler (1). Starring Hugh Bonneville, Brendan Coyle, Michelle Dockery, Rob James-Collier & Dan Stevens.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent). Spiteful people backstabbing each other is not my idea of entertaining drama.
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent). And occasionally finding out secrets about characters is not my idea of development.
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It's well done for what it is. I just don't see the appeal of this sort of thing. It probably doesn't help that it portrays an oppressive world as something good and noble. At one point the family patriarch makes a little speech about being merely a custodian of his estate, implying that he's burdened with responsibility and not, contrary to all evidence, obscenely privileged. And of course he's fair and protective of his underlings, and they're all much happier in servitude than they would be otherwise. It's pretty disgusting. But then, I'm a straight male, so no one expects me to enjoy this kind of show. My wife liked it.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.5/4 (Okay)

"Gift Wrapped"

"Gift Wrapped" (short), 1952. Sylvester vs. Tweety on Christmas morning.

Directed by Friz Freleng. Written by Warren Foster. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). More typical Sylvester and Tweety. Not too bad. Doesn't do anything to justify its existence (except for that one shot of Sylvester above, which perfectly captures my feelings toward Tweety Bird).
Objective Rating (Average): 2.0/4 (Indifferent)

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

4 luni, 3 saptamâni si 2 zile, 2007. A girl helps her friend get an illegal abortion in Communist Romania.

Written & directed by Cristian Mungiu. Starring Anamaria Marinca.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible). It has an amazing score of 97 on metacritic.com, so into the Netflix queue it went. If I had bothered to read a synopsis, then the fact that it's supposed to be one of the best movies ever made would probably have been insufficient enticement to watch it. If only I had.
Story: 4/4 (Great)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent). Deliberately very slow. If it had been a movie that wasn't 100% misery, it might have been great, interesting pacing. As it is, it's excruciating.
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good). Shakey cam, but used appropriately.
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent). No music, with a lot of uncomfortable silences. It would have been a very different movie if it had music, probably less harrowing, and I would be A-Okay with that. And then there's the closing credits, with a terrible pop song.
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible, 0/4). Next time I'm tempted to call a film "joyless," I will have to think twice; my perspective on how relentlessly miserable a film can be has been changed. It's the kind of movie that's perfectly executed, couldn't be more effective, and I wish it wasn't - because what Mungiu is evoking is, to say the least, not something I want to experience. I literally had to scream after watching it. I'm still recovering.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

"Tweet Tweet Tweety"

"Tweet Tweet Tweety" (short), 1951. Sylvester vs. Tweety in a national park.

Directed by Friz Freleng. Written by Warren Foster. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great). Wonderful backgrounds.
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 4/4 (Great). Stalling's score is great enough to compensate for Tweety's singing.
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4). I just... I just do not understand why they kept making Tweety cartoons. The more I watch, the more I hate them.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.0/4 (Indifferent)

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (tv special), 2002. The Muppets are broke, and Kermit wishes he'd never been born.

Directed by Kirk R. Thatcher. Written by Tom Martin & Jim Lewis. Starring Steve Whitmire, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta & Eric Jacobson.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Inconsistent. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's cringe-inducingly bad. The World In Which Kermit Was Never Born sequence is great enough to keep me liking the movie and think of it as part of the Muppets Tonight/Muppets from Space era, rather than the disastrous Disney TV Movie era.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

Destiny

Destiny, 1921. A woman challenges Death for the life of her fiancé.

Directed by Fritz Lang. Written by Lang & Thea von Harbou. Starring Lil Dagover, Walter Janssen & Bernhard Goetzke.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4). It's divided into five segments, each with a distinct tone. The first three are pretty good - first a folktale-ish horror story, followed by a couple adventure-packed melodramas. Then it goes suddenly and horrendously racist. After that, returning to the original story for its conclusion, I'd completely lost interest in the movie. Sadly, one part bad movie plus four parts good movie adds up to one bad movie.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

The Wire: Season One

From my Best TV Shows We've Never Seen marathon - part 3 of 5.



The Wire: Season One, 2002. A backward police department tries to catch a drug kingpin.

Created by David Simon. Directed by Clark Johnson (3 episodes), Clement Virgo (2), Peter Medak (1), Ed Bianchi (1), Joe Chappelle (1), Gloria Muzio (1), Milčo Mančevski (1), Brad Anderson (1), Steve Shill (1) & Tim Van Patten (1). Written by David Simon (8 episodes), Ed Burns (2), Rafael Alvarez (1), David H. Melnick (1), Shamit Choksey (1), Joy Lusco (1) & George Pelecanos (1); story by Simon & Burns. Starring Dominic West.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great). There are about a dozen main characters, and every one of them has a distinct voice and a well-developed arc. I don't sympathize with any of them (and don't even particularly enjoy watching most of them), but they are interesting and seem completely real.
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Solidly written and engaging. Normally I couldn't care less about drug dealers or corrupt cops, but this show's got me curious to see what happens next.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.0/4 (Good)

"A Bear for Punishment"

"A Bear for Punishment" (short), 1951. The three bears celebrate Father's Day.

Directed by Chuck Jones. Written by Michael Maltese. Starring Bea Benaderet, Billy Bletcher & Stan Freberg.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). Most of the gags don't make me laugh. It has its moments, though; Ma Bear is amusing, and there's some great animation here and there.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.6/4 (Good)

"From Hand to Mouth"

"From Hand to Mouth" (short), 1919. A tramp saves an heiress.

Directed by Alfred J. Goulding & Hal Roach. Written by Harold Lloyd & H.M. Walker. Starring Harold Lloyd & Mildred Davis.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It steps into Charlie Chaplin territory more than a little, and of course Lloyd is no Chaplin. It's pretty funny, though.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

(update of a previous post - original is here)

"Cheese Chasers"

"Cheese Chasers" (short), 1951. Suicidal mice try to get a cat to eat them.

Directed by Chuck Jones. Written by Michael Maltese. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Twisted, and very funny. It has no ending, though. And the quality of the animation is inconsistent.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.9/4 (Good)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Hedwig and the Angry Inch, 2001. An unsuccessful glam rocker tells and sings her life story.

Written by, directed by & starring John Cameron Mitchell, based on a play by Mitchell & Stephen Trask.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). The story of Unfair Show Business and Generally Having a Crappy Life isn't interesting (especially since Hedwig is too much of a diva to get any sympathy), but that's not too important. It's sufficient story to hang the music on, and the music is what matters. If a typical musical is a story with songs injected, this is the other way around - kind of like an elaborate concert film, with story injected to keep it rolling.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.9/4 (Good)

Goldfinger

Goldfinger, 1964. A gold smuggler plans to break into Fort Knox.

Directed by Guy Hamilton. Written by Richard Maibaum & Paul Dehn, based on a book by Ian Fleming. Starring Sean Connery & Gert Fröbe.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). All the nonsense and plot holes of Dr. No, but without nearly as much fun. And James Bond does nothing whatsoever to stop the evil plot. Still pretty good, though. Almost everything in it is iconic.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

Doctor Who: Series Seven, Part One

Doctor Who: Series Seven Part One, 2012. An alien travels through space and time with a human couple.

Created by Sydney Newman, C.E. Webber & Donald Wilson. Directed by Nick Hurran (2 episodes), Saul Metzstein (2) & Douglas Mackinnon (1). Written by Steven Moffat (2 episodes), Chris Chibnall (2) & Toby Whithouse (1). Starring Matt Smith, Karen Gillan & Arthur Darvill.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent). The plots are either predictable, or Swiss cheese. It's a huge improvement over season six, but Moffat's still more interested in writing Clever Twists than telling stories.
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good). Not as many great joke lines as I expect from Moffat's Doctor, and some occasional awfulness.
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent). Too fast. Mostly good, but the Ponds' exit is frustratingly incomplete.
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good). Often great, sometimes terrible.
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites, 4/4 5/4). I don't find any of the individual episodes to be particularly remarkable (at least not compared to what the show was doing a few years ago); the best ones fall apart at the end when the plot holes are brushed aside with babble. But the tone of the show is back to the old standard of fun and adventure, and I'm back to being Unreasonably Excited about watching it.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.9/4 3.0/4 (Good)

The Secret in Their Eyes

El secreto de sus ojos, 2009. A retired court employee writes a book about a 25-year-old case.

Directed by Juan José Campanella. Written by Eduardo Sacheri & Campanella, based on Sacheri's book. Starring Ricardo Darín & Soledad Villamil.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad). Appallingly bad aging makeup. He actually looks older in the flashbacks.
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4). It could have been worse; there are a couple scenes that work very well. If it had just been a crime/mystery story, it might have been good, but it's all framed within a terribly-written love story. Why are we expected to care (especially with all the other stuff going on in this movie) about a couple of boring characters' inability to express their feelings?
Objective Rating (Average): 1.8/4 (Eh)

Breaking Bad: Season One

From my Best TV Shows We've Never Seen marathon - part 2 of 5.



Breaking Bad: Season One, 2008. A terminally ill science teacher takes up cooking meth.

Created by Vince Gilligan. Directed by Adam Bernstein (2 episodes), Gilligan (1), Jim McKay (1), Tricia Brock (1), Bronwen Hughes (1) & Tim Hunter (1). Written by Gilligan (4 episodes), Patty Lin (1), George Mastras (1) & Peter Gould (1). Starring Bryan Cranston.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). Well that was fun. People might be on to something with this whole Watching TV thing that's so popular lately.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.3/4 (Very good)

Doctor Who: "The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe"

Doctor Who: "The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe" (tv special), 2011. A British family during WWII is treated to an unusual Christmas holiday.

Created by Sydney Newman, C.E. Webber & Donald Wilson. Directed by Farren Blackburn. Written by Steven Moffat. Starring Matt Smith & Claire Skinner.

Concept: 4/4 (Great). Domestic Doctor is always welcome.
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites, 4/4 5/4). Now that I've finally gotten around to watching this, I'm very relieved to find Doctor Who turning in the complete opposite direction of the cluttered, fast-forward mess of series six. There are still a lot of problems with the story, but nothing too bad. The focus is back on characters, and taking the time to let the audience care about what's happening to them. As far as emotional impact goes, this is the strongest episode so far of the Smith/Moffat era - maybe of the entire series.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.1/4 3.2/4 (Very good)

"French Rarebit"

"French Rarebit" (short), 1951. Bugs Bunny vs. French chefs.

Directed by Robert McKimson. Written by Tedd Pierce. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4). Old gags that weren't that great to begin with, executed poorly. Apart from a nice performance by Mel Blanc, it's got nothing going for it.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.9/4 (Eh)

Skyfall

Skyfall, 2012. James Bond vs. a computer hacker from M's past.

Directed by Sam Mendes. Written by Neal Purvis, Robert Wade & John Logan, based on characters by Ian Fleming. Starring Daniel Craig, Judi Dench & Javier Bardem.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent). Oh no, he's in the computers! Quick, Hipster Q, type faster than him! Okay, that's only about ten minutes of the movie, but still, it is the basic premise behind the plot. Your audiences are no longer computer illiterate, Hollywood; that shit is just ridiculous.
Story: 3/4 (Good). Very good, but there's too much of it for one movie.
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great). Holy bejesus this movie is pretty - even by Roger Deakins standards.
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 3/4 (Good). Sometimes great, sometimes generic Action Movie Noises.
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). Granted, I've only seen five of them in recent memory, but this is easily the best James Bond movie I've seen. Lots of fun, and expertly crafted. Serious Director + Action Movie = Everybody Wins.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.4/4 (Very good)

"Bumping into Broadway"

"Bumping into Broadway" (short), 1919. A boy and girl trying to make it into show business have no money.

Directed by Hal Roach. Written by H.M. Walker. Starring Harold Lloyd & Bebe Daniels.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). Slow at first, but eventually gets around to zany, madcap antics.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.0/4 (Indifferent)

Chicken Run

Chicken Run, 2000. Chickens try to escape from a farm.

Directed by Peter Lord & Nick Park. Written by Karey Kirkpatrick, with Mark Burton & John O'Farrell; story by Lord & Park. Starring Julia Sawalha & Mel Gibson.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent). Mostly bad, with moments of greatness.
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). The story and character arcs could not be more generic, and most of the jokes aren't funny. It still manages to be an entertaining movie, though; there's enough Aardman charm to make up for the script.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.2/4 (Okay)

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season Seven

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season Seven, 1993-1994. A giant space ship flies around the galaxy, ostensibly exploring but usually running errands.

Created by Gene Roddenberry. Directed by Alexander Singer (3 episodes), Cliff Bole (3), Robert Wiemer (3), Winrich Kolbe (3), Patrick Stewart (2), Les Landau (2), Jonathan Frakes (2), Peter Lauritson (1), Robert Lederman (1), Robert Scheerer (1), LeVar Burton (1), Gabrielle Beaumont (1), Gates McFadden (1), Corey Allen (1) & Jonathan West (1). Written by Brannon Braga (8 episodes), René Echevarria (6), Ronald D. Moore (6), Naren Shankar (5), Joe Menosky (3), Christopher Hatton (2), Nicholas Sagan (2), Jeanne Carrigan-Fauci (1), Lisa Rich (1), Roger Eschbacher (1), Jaq Greenspon (1), Hilary J. Bader (1), Dan Koeppel (1), Spike Steingasser (1), William N. Stape (1), Jeri Taylor (1), Jeanna F. Gallo (1), Ron Wilkerson (1), Jean Louise Matthias (1), Shawn Piller (1), Antonia Napoli (1) & Mark Kalbfeld (1). Starring Patrick Stewart & Jonathan Frakes.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 1/4 (Bad)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It's more concerned with wrapping up old unresolved storylines (that had been left unresolved because no one gave a crap about them) than with doing anything interesting. By my count, there are only two great episodes, about six other good episodes, three or four bad episodes, and a couple of terrible episodes (including the clear Worst TNG Episode Ever). That leaves about half a season of mediocrity - a pretty sad way for the show to go out.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

Band of Brothers

From my Best TV Shows We've Never Seen marathon - part 1 of 5.



Band of Brothers (tv series), 2001. A company of WWII paratroopers fights through Europe.

Directed by Mikael Salomon (2 episodes), David Frankel (2), Phil Alden Robinson (1), Richard Loncraine (1), David Nutter (1), Tom Hanks (1), David Leland (1) & Tony To (1). Written by Erik Jendresen (3 episodes), Bruce C. McKenna (3), John Orloff (2), Graham Yost (2), Erik Bork (2), Tom Hanks (1) & E. Max Frye (1); based on a book by Stephen E. Ambrose. Starring Damian Lewis (4 episodes), David Schwimmer (1), Marc Warren (1), Michael Cudlitz (1), Shane Taylor (1), Donnie Wahlberg (1), Eion Bailey (1), Colin Hanks (1) & Ron Livingston (1).

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 4/4 (Great)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent). I had a hard time keeping the supporting characters straight. There's a lot of story and action; with only ten episodes, there's not enough time left to clearly establish an army of characters.
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 3/4 (Good). Mostly mediocre, with moments of greatness.
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). Very engrossing, but draining. I never looked forward to the next episode.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.0/4 (Good)

"Room and Bird"

"Room and Bird" (short), 1951. Sylvester and Tweety in a hotel.

Directed by Friz Freleng. Written by Tedd Pierce & Warren Foster. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent). Why must Tweety sing?
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). I hate 1950s Tweety so much. It's like they think it's funny to make him as obnoxious as possible.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.7/4 (Eh)

Animal Crackers

Animal Crackers, 1930. Some Marx Brothers characters show up at a socialite party.

Directed by Victor Heerman. Written by Morrie Ryskind, with Pierre Collings, based on a play by George S. Kaufman, Ryskind, Bert Kalmar & Harry Ruby. Starring The Marx Brothers.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 3/4 (Good). It opens with a barrage of terrible numbers, but later musical interludes are the best things in the movie.
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It has a traditional farce plot, which is at odds with the Marx Brothers' style - when silliness breaks out, it's jarring and confusing as often as funny (usually both), and when it returns to the story it's a tedious distraction. The jokes are great, and a lot of the routines are hilarious, but overall it's a badly-made movie.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.9/4 (Eh)

"Bangville Police"

"Bangville Police" (short), 1913. Police respond to a farm girl's call.

Directed by Henry Lehrman. Starring Fred Mace & Mabel Normand.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad). Not enough of it, and never any jokes.
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 1/4 (Bad)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4). I guess this is supposed to be a comedy? It's just a lot of exaggerated gestures and expressions, like someone might make who's trying to entertain a baby.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.2/4 (Bad)

Moonrise Kingdom

Moonrise Kingdom, 2012. Two kids run away together.

Directed by Wes Anderson. Written by Anderson & Roman Coppola. Starring Jared Gilman & Kara Hayward.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 4/4 (Great). Great as far as the story on hand is concerned. However, there are a lot of great supporting characters who don't get nearly enough screen time to do them justice. There could be entire movies about most of them.
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites, 4/4 5/4). Anderson's best movie. It's kind of like the ideas from his earlier stuff is filtered through Fantastic Mr. Fox's cartoony-ness, ending up with the best of both worlds.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.7/4 3.8/4 (Great)

"Bunny Hugged"

"Bunny Hugged" (short), 1951. Bugs Bunny in a wrestling match.

Directed by Chuck Jones. Written by Michael Maltese. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). There are some good laughs in there, but a lot of the gags didn't do anything for me.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

From Russia with Love

From Russia with Love, 1963. SPECTRE sets a trap for James Bond.

Directed by Terence Young. Written by Richard Maibaum; adapted by Johanna Harwood from a book by Ian Fleming. Starring Sean Connery.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It's not fun enough. The action scenes are bad and go on too long. It doesn't have the great sense of style that Dr. No has. On the other hand, it also doesn't have any of the story problems that Dr. No has.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4/4 (Okay)

Meet the Robinsons

Meet the Robinsons, 2007. An orphan is taken to the future by a boy with his parents' time machine.

Directed by Stephen J. Anderson. Written by Jon Bernstein, Michelle Bochner, Don Hall, Nathan Greno, Aurian Redson, Joseph Mateo & Stephen J. Anderson, based on a book by William Joyce. Starring Daniel Hansen, Jordan Fry, Wesley Singerman & Stephen J. Anderson.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad). A cookie-cutter story arc, and long stretches of stuff that has nothing to do with anything.
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent). A frantic mess, but often in a good way.
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good). Great design. Some pretty bad animation.
Acting: 3/4 (Good). The child leads are mediocre at best, but there are some great comedic performances.
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Manic beyond all reason, and hilarious. One of those surprise movies that has no business being as good as it is.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

"The Girl and Her Trust"

"The Girl and Her Trust" (short), 1912. A telegraph operator is alone at a train station when it is robbed.

Directed by D.W. Griffith. Written by George Hennessy. Starring Dorothy Bernard & Wilfred Lucas.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 3/4 (Good). A female action hero in 1912. Neat.
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good). There's the occasional Theater Pose, but mostly it's very good.
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). Surprisingly entertaining. I wouldn't quite go so far as to call it exciting, but it does pretty well.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.6/4 (Good)

Nanook of the North

Nanook of the North, 1922. A look at the difficult life of an Inuit family.

Written & directed by Robert J. Flaherty. Starring Allakariallak.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good). Surprisingly modern.
Special effects/design: n/a
Acting: n/a
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). It's kind of like looking at a series of museum dioramas, except that they move. And Nanook is a ham.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

Mulan

Mulan, 1998. A woman joins the army in drag to save her elderly father.

Directed by Tony Bancroft & Barry Cook. Written by Rita Hsiao, Chris Sanders, Philip LaZebnik, Raymond Singer, Eugenia Bostwick-Singer, Dean DeBlois, Robert D. San Souci & 24 others. Starring Ming-Na Wen.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 0/4 (Terrible)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). Crap. It moves fast enough and has enough action to keep it from being too painful to watch.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.6/4 (Eh)

VSM: The Best TV Shows We've Never Seen

These are the titles with the highest IMDb score and at least 25,000 votes (and that are available in the US) that we haven't seen. And they all happen to be TV shows, which suits us as we've been itching to watch more TV lately.

Very Slow Marathon #12 - The Best TV Shows We've Never Seen
-Band of Brothers (2001)
-Breaking Bad (season 1, 2008)
-The Wire (season 1, 2002)
-Game of Thrones (season 1, 2011)
-The Sopranos (season 1, 1999)

Brave

Brave, 2012. A teenage princess has her mother turned into a bear.

Directed by Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman & Steve Purcell. Written by Andrews, Purcell, Chapman & Irene Mecchi; story by Chapman. Starring Kelly Macdonald.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 4/4 (Great)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). Very underrated. No, it's not the best Pixar movie (that's hardly a fair comparison to make for any movie), but it might be the strongest emotionally. My wife observes that it's the first time a fight scene made her cry.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.1/4 (Very good)

"La Luna"

"La Luna" (short), 2012. A boy learns the family trade, on the moon.

Written & directed by Enrico Casarosa. Starring Krista Sheffler, Tony Fucile & Phil Sheridan.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Cute, with some nice whimsy. But apart from the basic idea, there's nothing to the story. And its tendency for swelling music and slow motion make it feel like it has a high opinion of itself.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.0/4 (Good)

Rebel without a Cause

Rebel without a Cause, 1955. Angsty teenagers get into trouble.

Directed by Nicholas Ray. Written by Stewart Stern; adapted by Irving Shulman; story by Ray. Starring James Dean, Natalie Wood & Sal Mineo.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). The first half is great. After the "chickie run," it's still good, but the tension drops out. I can't quite say why, but I just don't feel it anymore; there's a lot of waiting around for inevitable tragedy.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.7/4 (Good)

The Storyteller

The Storyteller (tv series), 1988. An old man tells folktales to his dog.

Created by Jim Henson. Directed by Steve Barron (3 episodes), Jim Henson (2), Charles Sturridge (1), Jon Amiel (1), Peter Smith (1) & Paul Weiland (1). Written by Anthony Minghella. Starring John Hurt.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). At its best it's fun, and at its worst it's at least interesting. It's one of the only faithful screen adaptation of fairy tales. They just don't make shows like this - and understandably. Henson and Minghella apparently just said "fuck it" to every conventional idea of what audiences like and made the weird-ass show they felt like making.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.0/4 (Good)

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Season One

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Season One, 1993. Democratic imperialists and former terrorists work together on a space station in order to keep away fascist imperialists.

Created by Rick Berman & Michael Piller. Directed by Paul Lynch (5 episodes), David Carson (4), David Livingston (3), Winrich Kolbe (2), Les Landau (2), Corey Allen (1), Robert Legato (1), Cliff Bole (1) & James L. Conway (1). Written by Michael Piller (8 episodes), Ira Steven Behr (3), Robert Hewitt Wolfe (3), Peter Allan Fields (3), Rick Berman (2), Lisa Rich (2), Jeanne Carrigan-Fauci (2), Katharyn Powers (1), Gerald Sanford (1), Michael McGreevey (1), Naren Shankar (1), Sally Caves (1), Jill Sherman Donner (1), Hannah Louise Shearer (1), D.C. Fontana (1), Morgan Gendel (1), Frederick Rappaport (1), David Livingston (1), Sam Rolfe (1), Richard Danus (1), Evan Carlos Somers (1), Hilary J. Bader (1), Kurt Michael Bensmiller (1), Nell McCue Crawford (1), William L. Crawford (1), Don Carlos Dunaway (1), Jim Trombetta (1) & Joe Menosky (1). Starring Avery Brooks.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad). It takes the entire two-hour pilot just to explain the set-up, which is crap, but it doesn't matter much anyway since it's irrelevant for most of the show.
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad). O'Brien is the only main character who isn't a jackass.
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad). It's good, in-so-far as everything looks exactly like it should look. It's not the artists' fault that the writers asked for a world that's dull and vaguely unpleasant to look at.
Acting: 1/4 (Bad). Some truly awful acting. (Although, again, O'Brien is the exception to the rule.)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). At its best, it's just barely an okay show. Usually, it's crap. The stories are the biggest offender - poorly conceived, uninteresting, and filled with plot holes and continuity problems. The show has a pretty good reputation, though, so I'd like to hope that that area will be fixed in later seasons. But short of a complete retooling, it could never be as good as TNG, simply because none of these characters get along. DS9's whole concept is that it's about unpleasant people, forced to work together on a job they don't want to do, in a place they don't want to be. What's fun about watching that?
Objective Rating (Average): 1.3/4 (Bad)

The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid, 1989. A mermaid falls in love with a human and makes a deal with a witch.

Written & directed by Ron Clements & John Musker, based on the fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen. Starring Jodi Benson, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Pat Carroll & Samuel E. Wright.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent). Slow to get started, then over too fast once it gets good.
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent). Some pretty bad songs, but they're usually an effective and integral part of the storytelling.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). There's a strong sense of fun and charm that's sadly rare in Disney films from this era. It's also genuinely scary and intense in places.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.7/4 (Good)

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

From my Sidney Lumet marathon, part 8 of 8.



Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, 2007. Two brothers rob their parents' jewelry store.

Directed by Sidney Lumet. Written by Kelly Masterson. Starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Albert Finney & Marisa Tomei.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 3/4 (Good). Nearly great, but two of the main characters have no resolution.
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Too long, but very good. If it had been promoted as a drama (which it is) instead of an action thriller (which it is decidedly not), it would probably have a much better reputation.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.0/4 (Good)

"Billy Blazes, Esq."

"Billy Blazes, Esq." (short), 1919. A cowboy rescues the girl from the bad guys.

Directed by Hal Roach. Written by Roach & H.M. Walker. Starring Harold Lloyd.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). Lloyd doesn't even show up until halfway through the film. And by the time he's introduced, they've pretty much run out of jokes - apart from two or three mediocre gags, you wouldn't even think it was a comedy.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.9/4 (Eh)

"Nero, or the Fall of Rome"

"Nero, or the Fall of Rome" (short), 1909. The emperor's love life leads to revolt.

Directed by Luigi Maggi. Written by Decoroso Bonifanti & Arrigo Frusta. Starring Alberto Capozzi.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad). Not a bad plot, but its execution could hardly be worse.
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad). Each scene is preceded by captions which are supposed to explain what's going on, but I can't say they do their job.
Pacing: 0/4 (Terrible)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 0/4 (Terrible)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4). An absolutely awful film. The acting is bad enough to provide some heckling value, though.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.2/4 (Bad)

"So Much for So Little"

"So Much for So Little" (short), 1949. The Public Health Service makes an argument for the Public Health Service.

Directed by Chuck Jones. Written by Friz Freleng & Jones. Starring Frank Graham.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). It's got everything one loves about mid-century educational films, crossed with a heavy dose of Chuck Jones. And although it's a propaganda film, I don't imagine it did much for the government. The tone straddles a line between entertainingly educational, and satire.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.7/4 (Good)