Gremlins

Gremlins, 1984. A cute creature spawns a pack of monsters with a sick sense of humor.

Directed by Joe Dante. Written by Chris Columbus. Starring Zach Galligan.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 1/4 (Bad)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Kind of awesome. Also a mess, to such a degree that I suspect it's deliberate; it seems like about half the scenes exist solely to create loose ends. And the fact that it's a xenophobic allegory is a little off-putting. But still, it's kind of awesome.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.1/4 (Okay)

Carrie

Carrie, 1976. An awkward, unpopular teenager has telekinetic powers.

Directed by Brian De Palma. Written by Lawrence D. Cohen, based on a book by Stephen King. Starring Sissy Spacek.

Concept: 2/4 (Indiffernet)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good). Sometimes great, often mediocre.
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good). Spacek is great.
Music: 1/4 (Bad)
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4). Apart from a handful of iconic images, it's pretty bad. I think they decided the genre/tone of each scene by picking it out of a hat.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, 1962. A former child star torments her crippled sister.

Directed by Robert Aldrich. Written by Lukas Heller, based on a book by Henry Farrell. Starring Bette Davis & Joan Crawford.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Very suspenseful. It feels overly long despite that, maybe because you spend so much of the running time feeling unsettled and uncomfortable.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.1/4 (Very good)

MythBusters: 2004 Season

MythBusters: 2004 season* [year two]. A couple special effects guys and cohorts test whether various urban legends are possible.

Created by Peter Rees. Directed by Rees (7 episodes), Andrew Farrell (1), & ? (8). Starring Jamie Hyneman & Adam Savage.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: n/a
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). It's frustrating how off-track they get at testing myths this season. It's often more about messing around on the theme of a myth. Still, it's fun to watch them messing around.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.4 (Okay)

*There doesn't seem to be any standard for what constitutes a season of MythBusters. No two sources I can find agree with each other. So I'm going with Wikipedia's arbitrary but conveniently simple method of dividing the show by broadcast year.

(quasi-update of a previous post - original is here)

The Curse of the Cat People

The Curse of the Cat People, 1944. A father is upset by his daughter's imaginary friend.

Directed by Gunther von Fritsch & Robert Wise. Written by DeWitt Bodeen. Starring Simone Simon, Kent Smith, Jane Randolph & Ann Carter.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible). They clearly just took an unrelated script they had ready and shoe-horned in a few lines here and there to connect it with Cat People. This is not even a horror film. And on top of that, even if they hadn't tried to make it into a Cat People sequel, it still would have been a crap idea.
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible, 0/4). A half-assed excuse for a movie that would have been lost to time long ago if it weren't for the deceptive title.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.1/4 (Bad)

"Ride Him, Bosko!"

"Ride Him, Bosko!" (short), 1932. Bosko in the Old West.

Directed by Hugh Harman. Starring Johnny Murray & Rochelle Hudson.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent). Bonus point for the twist ending.
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent). Bosko's not exactly what I would call a character, but he's definitely growing on me.
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). You really could not see that ending coming...
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

"I Love a Parade"

"I Love a Parade" (short), 1932. Wacky circus acts perform.

Directed by Rudolf Ising.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). Extremely pointless. It has a nice sense of humor in places, but my reaction basically boiled down to: "Why is this happening?"
Objective Rating (Average): 1.5/4 (Eh)

Cat People

Cat People, 1942. A woman believes she's descended from shape-shifting witches.

Directed by Jacques Tourneur. Written by DeWitt Bodeen. Starring Simone Simon, Kent Smith & Jane Randolph.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Surprisingly entertaining.  It's fast-paced, and very creepy (thanks almost entirely to the photography).
Objective Rating (Average): 2.6/4 (Good)

Gravity

Gravity, 2013. Space debris separates an astronaut from her shuttle.

Directed by Alfonso Cuarón. Written by Alfonso & Jonás Cuarón. Starring Sandra Bullock & George Clooney.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 4/4 (Great)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). Intense and impressive. I do have to say, contrary to every review I've read, that I think this would still be a great movie on a small screen. The giant IMAX spectacle is nice, but it's the suspense that makes the movie work. (And regardless of how well it's done, 3D is annoying.)
Objective Rating (Average): 3.3/4 (Very good)

"It's Got Me Again!"

"It's Got Me Again!" (short), 1932. A cat drops in on a mouse dance party.

Directed by Rudolf Ising.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It's lots of fun before the cat shows up, when the mice spend half the cartoon just dancing and messing around.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.9/4 (Eh)

"You Don't Know What You're Doin'"

"You Don't Know What You're Doin'" (short), 1931. A pig goes out on the town and gets drunk.

Directed by Rudolf Ising.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 4/4 (Great). According to the cartoon's wikipedia page, "the techniques [Orlando Martin] used to produce some of his sounds continue to puzzle other trombonists."
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). It drags a lot in the middle. There are some nice gags, though. The bizarre music in the finale is enough to bump this up from a 6 to a 7.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.0/4 (Indiffernet)

Black Narcissus

Black Narcissus, 1947. A young nun leads a new convent in the Himalayas.

Written & directed by Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger, based on a book by Rumer Godden. Starring Deborah Kerr, Kathleen Byron & David Farrar.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). The last 30 or 40 minutes, when shit starts to go down, are great. The earlier parts of the movie suffer from an unsympathetic protagonist, leaving me a little Meh as far as story is concerned. Visually, though, it couldn't be better. Every single frame is immersive.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.3/4 (Very good)

Speed

from my 100 Popular Movies Marathon, part 5 of 100



Speed, 1994. A mad bomber booby-traps a city bus.

Directed by Jan de Bont. Written by Graham Yost. Starring Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper & Sandra Bullock.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 1/4 (Bad)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). It's completely ridiculous, but for some reason doesn't want to admit it.  It takes itself too seriously (with the exception of the requisite comic relief one-liners) to be much fun, and is too inherently silly to be very suspenseful. It's well done on a technical level, though.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.8/4 (Eh)

"Bosko the Doughboy"

"Bosko the Doughboy" (short), 1931. Bosko fights in the trenches of World War I.

Directed by Hugh Harman. Starring Carman Maxwell.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). It's so very wrong, but that might be half the fun. Whimsical gags - even some silly dancing - in the midst of grotesque horrors. Well, cartoonified versions of grotesque horrors, anyway.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.5/4 (Okay)

"One More Time"

"One More Time" (short), 1931. A Mickey Mouse knock-off is a cop on patrol.

Directed by Rudolf Ising.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). It has a couple brief nice bits, and is generally not unpleasant. There's not much in the way of gags.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.9/4 (Eh)

The Matrix Reloaded

from my 100 Popular Movies Marathon, part 4 of 100



The Matrix Reloaded, 2003. Neo & friends are introduced to a series of characters.

Written & directed by Andy & Lana Wachowski. Starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss & Laurence Fishburne.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: 0/4 (Terrible)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4). It alternates between bad philosophizing, and repetitive fight scenes. There's about ten minutes of good action (the stuff that doesn't involve Neo, interestingly), and lots of nice visuals, enough to just barely make it a watchable - if boring - movie. The writing is so awful, though.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.4/4 (Bad)

The Ten Commandments

from my 100 Popular Movies Marathon, part 3 of 100



The Ten Commandments, 1956. The life of Moses, skipping most of the stuff in the Bible.

Directed by Cecil B. DeMille. Written by Æneas MacKenzie, Jesse Lasky Jr., Jack Gariss & Fredric M. Frank, based on books by Dorothy Clarke Wilson, J.H. Ingraham & A.E. Southon. Starring Charlton Heston & Yul Brynner.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 0/4 (Terrible)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent). Surprisingly, it took nearly three hours before I started to get bored.
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: 0/4 (Terrible)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 5/10 (Indifferent, 2/4). It's an awful movie, but it's a reasonably entertaining sort of awful, with plenty of opportunity for exclaiming "sweet fancy Moses" at the screen. I can't figure out what audience it's intended for: it's too preachy for the non-religious, and too grossly inaccurate for the religious.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.5/4 (Eh)

"Smile, Darn Ya, Smile!"

"Smile, Darn Ya, Smile!" (short), 1931. A Mickey Mouse knock-off drives a trolly around the countryside.

Directed by Rudolf Ising.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: 1/4 (Bad)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4). Boring and rambling. They really phoned this one in.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.0/4 (Bad)

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Season Five

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Season Five, 1996-1997. Political stability erodes under the threat of invasion.

Created by Rick Berman & Michael Piller. Directed by Allan Kroeker (4 episodes), Kim Friedman (3), Jonathan West (2), René Auberjonois (2), LeVar Burton (2), Mike Vejar (2), James L. Conway (1), Andrew J. Robinson (1), Jesús Salvador Treviño (1), Victor Lobl (1), Gabrielle Beaumont (1), Les Landau (1), David Livingston (1), John T. Kretchmer (1), Siddig El Fadil (1), Avery Brooks (1) & Michael Dorn (1). Written by Ira Steven Behr (9 episodes), Robert Hewitt Wolfe (9), Ronald D. Moore (6), Hans Beimler (5), René Echevarria (5), David Weddle (2), Bradley Thompson (2), Bryan Fuller (2), Pam Wigginton (1), Rick Cason (1), Brice R. Parker (1), David R. Long (1), Robert Lederman (1), Michael Taylor (1), L.J. Strom (1), Peter Allan Fields (1), Jimmy Diggs (1), Edmund Newton (1), Robbin L. Slocum (1), Gary Holland (1), Ethan H. Calk (1), Truly Barr Clark (1) & Scott J. Neal (1). Starring Avery Brooks.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good). Bonus point for "Trials and Tribble-ations."
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4).  Aaaaaand now it's better than The Next Generation. What the hell. There isn't a single bad episode all season, and a surprisingly large handful are great. I'm kind of glad I never gave this show a chance in the 90s - I get to watch it now like it's new (like Star Trek didn't die a slow, painful death over a decade ago), and I am excited to find out what happens next.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

"Crying for the Carolines"

"Crying for the Carolines" (short), 1930. An organist sings while inexplicable images float in front of the camera.

Director unknown. Starring Milton Charles.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: n/a
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: n/a
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4). Possibly the first music video? The music is perfectly good, except that it's a three-minute song stretched out to six minutes. Absolutely everything else about it is awful.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.1/4 (Bad)

The Iron Giant

The Iron Giant, 1999. A boy befriends a giant space robot.

Directed by Brad Bird. Written by Tim McCanlies; story by Bird, based on a book by Ted Hughes. Starring Eli Marienthal.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent). My most hated movie cliche pet peeve: the villain who's evil for no apparent reason except to give everyone someone to hate - as I like to think of it, the Nazi Stepmother.
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent). The protagonist is grating.
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Sort of a less fun version of Lilo & Stitch. Or, a less emotional version of E.T..
Objective Rating (Average): 2.9/4 (Good)

Stray Dog

Stray Dog, 1949. A police detective searches for his stolen gun.

Directed by Akira Kurosawa. Written by Ryûzô Kikushima & Kurosawa. Starring Toshirô Mifune & Takashi Shimura.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good). The story moves too slowly, but there's almost nothing I would cut. (Just some baseball. Why is there so much baseball?)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). In a few ways, it's kind of like the Japanese counterpart of The Third Man - although it's nowhere near as good as that film. It's not engrossing, which is weird for a suspense film from a great director. But it's interesting.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.3/4 (Very good)