8 Edison kinetoscope films

"The Kiss" (short), 1896. A couple kisses. Directed by William Heise. From a play by John J. McNally. Starring May Irwin & John C. Rice.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good). Who'd have thought you could fit so much character into 15 seconds of pantomime?
Dialog: n/a
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent). I don't think any of these kinetoscopes can get a "good" rating in pacing.
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 4/4 (Great). Until reading the IMDb trivia, I hadn't thought these were actors.
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4)
Objective Rating (Average): 2.7/4 (Good)

"Serpentine Dances" (short), 1895. A woman dances. Directed by William K.L. Dickson & Heise. Starring Annabelle Moore.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: n/a
Dialog: n/a
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: n/a
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4). The term "dances" is used loosely.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.9/4 (Eh)

"Sandow (The Strong Man)" (short), 1896. A man strikes poses. Written & directed by Dickson. Starring Eugen Sandow.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: n/a
Dialog: n/a
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: n/a
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4). Would it kill him to lift something heavy? What kind of lame-ass strong man doesn't have feats of strength?
Objective Rating (Average): 1.1/4 (Bad)

"Glenroy Brothers (Comic Boxing)" (short), 1894. Two boxers tap each other. Starring the Glenroy brothers.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: n/a
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 0/4 (Terrible)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4). I couldn't even tell it was supposed to be funny. They just sort of stand there.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.1/4 (Bad)

"Cockfight" (short), 1894. A cockfight. Directed by Dickson.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible). Not cool, 1890s, not cool.
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: n/a
Dialog: n/a
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad)
Acting: n/a
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4)
Objective Rating (Average): 0.9/4 (Very bad)

"The Barber Shop" (short), 1894. A barber gives a shave. Directed by Dickson & Heise.

Concept: 0/4 (Terrible)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: n/a
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4). The first in everybody's favorite genre: the Shaving Film.
Objective Rating (Average): 1.0/4 (Bad)

"Feeding the Doves" (short), 1896. A woman throws food to pigeons. Directed by James H. White.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: n/a
Dialog: n/a
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 0/4 (Terrible)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 3/10 (Bad, 1/4)
Objective Rating (Average): 1.0/4 (Bad)

"Seminary Girls" (short), 1897. A teacher breaks up a pillow fight. Directed by White.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: n/a
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 4/10 (Eh, 2/4)
Objective Rating (Average): 1.9/4 (Eh)

With the exception of "The Kiss," these are more like items in a time capsule than films. And even though most of them are crap, they're surprisingly entertaining to watch. It probably doesn't hurt that they're not more than a few seconds of crap each.

Muppets Magic from the Ed Sullivan Show

Muppets Magic from the Ed Sullivan Show, 2003 (footage originally broadcast 1966-1971). A compilation of performances by the Muppets on The Ed Sullivan Show.

Unknown writters & directors. Starring Jim Henson & Frank Oz.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible). Of course the video as a whole has no story, but also the stories in the sketches tend to go along the lines of, "Something weird happens, then it blows up." Which is fine, but not exactly a story.
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 1/4 (Bad)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). It's a pretty crappy video, but the sketches are all nice (although the best of them have been recycled on The Muppet Show or Sesame Street). Jim and Frank, doing what they do, back when they had a lot to prove - can't go too far wrong with that.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.2/4 (Okay)

"Rhapsody Rabbit"

"Rhapsody Rabbit" (short), 1946. Bugs Bunny gives a piano concert.

Directed by Friz Freleng. Written by Tedd Pierce & Michael Maltese. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 4/4 (Great)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Delightful. I've come to expect Friz Freleng cartoons to not be very good, but this one surprised me; it's one of the funniest Looney Tunes I've seen yet.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.8/4 (Good)

The World at War

The World at War (tv series), 1973-1974. An in-depth account of the events and sociology of World War II.

Directed by Hugh Raggett (3 episodes), John Pett (3), David Elstein (2), Ted Childs (2), Martin Smith (2), Michael Darlow (2), ? (12). Written by Peter Batty (6 episodes), Neal Ascherson (3), Laurence Thompson (2), Jerome Kuehl (2), David Wheeler (2), John Williams (2), Charles Bloomberg (2), J.P.W. Mallalieu (1), Charles Douglas Home (1), Angus Calder (1), Stuart Hood (1), Courtney Browne (1), David Elstein (1) & Jeremy Isaacs (1). Starring Laurence Olivier.

Concept: 1/4 (Bad). I suppose it was a better concept back in the 70s, when there weren't entire networks devoted to World War II documentaries.
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 3/4 (Good). The show's not at all about individuals, but it's told by them and they end up coming through.
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Acting: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It's more like sitting in on a history class for a semester than like watching a TV show. It's often interesting, and often hard to watch (it doesn't hold anything back). You probably couldn't do any better with a 26-hour war documentary. (Note to self: don't watch any more 26-hour war documentaries.)
Objective Rating (Average): 2.2/4 (Okay)

Wallace & Gromit's Cracking Contraptions

Wallace & Gromit's Cracking Contraptions (tv series), 2002. Wallace & Gromit test a series of inventions.

Directed by Loyd Price & Christopher Sadler. Written by Merlin Crossingham, Seamus Malone, Nick Park, Price, Sadler & Mike Salter. Starring Peter Sallis.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (Bad)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). It's a big step down in quality from the proper Wallace & Gromit shorts, but there are enough laughs to make it worth watching.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.3/4 (Okay)

"A Close Shave"

"A Close Shave" (short), 1995. Wallace & Gromit get on the wrong side of a sheep-rustler.

Directed by Nick Park. Written by Bob Baker & Park. Starring Peter Sallis & Anne Reid.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 1/4 (bad)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Shaun the Sheep is all kinds of crazy adorable.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.7/4 (Good)

"The Wrong Trousers"

"The Wrong Trousers" (short), 1993. Wallace & Gromit take in a suspicious boarder.

Directed by Nick Park. Written by Park & Bob Baker. Starring Peter Sallis.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). The penguin is pretty funny. After having seen this a number of times, it drags quite a bit.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.8/4 (Good)

"A Grand Day Out"

"A Grand Day Out" (short), 1990. A man and his dog build a rocket to go to the moon.

Written & directed by Nick Park. Starring Peter Sallis.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 3/4 (Good)
Cinematography: 3/4 (Good)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 3/4 (Good)
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites, 4/4 5/4). So much whimsy. It's kind of sad that all the other Wallace & Gromit films are spoofs of film genres (although I guess you could argue this one is a take-off of "A Trip to the Moon"); their best moments are when they're just doing their own thing.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.3/4 3.4/4 (Very good)

The Royal Tenenbaums

The Royal Tenenbaums, 2001. The patriarch of an eccentric family tries to befriend his adult children.

Directed by Wes Anderson. Written by Anderson & Owen Wilson. Starring Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Ben Stiller, Gwyneth Paltrow & Luke Wilson.

Concept: 3/4 (Good)
Story: 3/4 (Good)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 4/4 (Great)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4). Quietly absurd. Ever since it came out, I've never quite been able to decide how much I like this movie. It's not my favorite type of humor, but it's perfectly suited to film.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.7/4 (Great)

A Separation

From my 2011 Leftovers Marathon, part 8 of 14.



Jodaeiye Nader az Simin, 2011. An Iranian man separated from his wife gets involved in legal trouble with his father's caretaker.

Written & directed by Asghar Farhadi. Starring Peyman Moadi, Leila Hatami, Sareh Bayat, Shahab Hosseini & Sarina Farhadi.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 4/4 (Great)
Characters: 4/4 (Great)
Dialog: 4/4 (Great)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great). Yes, it's all handheld (which I usually hate), but it's never distracting and often striking.
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 3/4 (Good). There's almost none, which is good.
Subjective Rating: 7/10 (Good, 3/4). Hardly fun to watch, but very good.  There's none of the unpleasantness I expect from a movie that's basically two hours of Angry People Being Angry.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.3/4 (Very good)

"The Big Snooze"

"The Big Snooze" (short), 1946. Bugs Bunny invades Elmer Fudd's dream.

Directed by Robert Clampett. Written by Warren Foster. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 4/4 (Great)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Dialog: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Pacing: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 3/4 (Good)
Acting: 3/4 (Good)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 6/10 (Okay, 2/4). I don't know, it just didn't make me laugh. This is Clampett's last Warner Brothers cartoon, and he's not credited; I wonder if maybe he'd already checked out.
Objective Rating (Average): 2.6/4 (Good)

top ten

My idea of the ten best movies ever made:

1. 25th Hour (Lee, 2002)
2. The Third Man (Reed, 1949)
3. Casablanca (Curtiz, 1942)
4. The Passion of Joan of Arc (Dreyer, 1928)
5. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (Hand, 1937)
6. The Godfather (Coppola, 1972)
7. Fargo (Coen, 1996)
8. Wall-E (Stanton, 2008)
9. Yojimbo (Kurosawa, 1961)
10. The Night of the Hunter (Laughton, 1955)

And (because a list of only ten movies is never enough) my ten favorites:
1. The Muppet Movie (Frawley, 1979)
2. Wall-E (Stanton, 2008)
3. The Princess Bride (Reiner, 1987)
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Gondry, 2004)
5. Labyrinth (Henson, 1986)
6. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (Tarantino, 2003)
7. Time Bandits (Gilliam, 1981)
8. The Dark Crystal (Henson & Oz, 1982)
9. Moon (Jones, 2009)
10. The Dark Knight (Nolan, 2008)

Starship Troopers

Starship Troopers, 1997. Brainlessly patriotic soldiers fight space monsters.

Directed by Paul Verhoeven. Written by Edward Neumeier, based on a book by Robert A. Heinlein. Starring Casper Van Dien.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 0/4 (Terrible)
Characters: 0/4 (Terrible)
Dialog: 0/4 (Terrible)
Pacing: 1/4 (Bad)
Cinematography: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Special effects/design: 1/4 (Bad). Okay effects, terrible design.
Acting: 1/4 (Bad)
Music: 1/4 (Bad)
Subjective Rating: 2/10 (Terrible, 0/4). Tedious, stupid, and offensive.
Objective Rating (Average): 0.8/4 (Very bad)

"The Great Piggy Bank Robbery"

"The Great Piggy Bank Robbery" (short), 1946. Daffy Duck imagines himself as Duck Twacy.

Directed by Robert Clampett. Written by Warren Foster. Starring Mel Blanc.

Concept: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Story: 2/4 (Indifferent)
Characters: 3/4 (Good)
Dialog: 3/4 (Good)
Pacing: 4/4 (Great)
Cinematography: 4/4 (Great)
Special effects/design: 4/4 (Great)
Acting: 4/4 (Great)
Music: 4/4 (Great)
Subjective Rating: 9/10 (One of my favorites, 4/4 5/4). Wow. I always love Clampett's style, but there's usually something disconnected about his cartoons. In this case, everything comes together in beautifully depraved harmony. And when Clampett's energy is successfully focused, it is an awesome force.
Objective Rating (Average): 3.4/4 3.5/4 (Very good)